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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25693666">Crossing the Line</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvagiguere/pseuds/dvagiguere'>dvagiguere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Emmerdale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:27:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25693666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvagiguere/pseuds/dvagiguere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>my first Robron AU where Aaron and Robert are friends but secretly in love with each other.</p><p>Aaron is engaged, about to get married when he breaks off his engagement and escapes to his aunt's seaside cottage.<br/>Can these two finally realize that what they both want has been right in front of them?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>re-post of a Robron AU</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aaron called off his wedding two weeks before he was supposed to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>I Do.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't in love; not the way people were supposed to be when they were getting married. Whatever spark had existed between them had fizzled out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting married wasn't going to fix their problems. Going away on a honeymoon in an exotic location wouldn't either, as hard as they tried to convince themselves it would. Aaron had hoped and he had hoped as the wedding got closer that his feelings would change, that he wouldn't feel so empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it never went away, the nagging feeling, the self-doubt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Companionship. That was the only word Aaron could think of that described their relationship at the end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made excuses to himself, threw himself into his work, avoided any type of intimacy between them. He always had an excuse at the ready. He thought he was going mad. Jonathan was handsome, with a successful career as a surgeon, and was sensible, romantic. Any guy would have been lucky to marry a guy like him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As their wedding day got closer, the farther he pushed Jonathan away, and the more Aaron realized he didn't just have cold feet, that the emptiness in his gut wasn't going to fade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't feel right - </span>
  <em>
    <span>they didn't feel right </span>
  </em>
  <span>- and Aaron knew they never would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan deserved better. They both did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to end it. He couldn't spend the rest of his life married to someone he didn't love. He couldn't keep stringing Jonathan along, offering empty promises and false hope when he had nothing left to give.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This wasn't how he pictured his life turning out when Jonathan had proposed. Life never went according to plan, he knew. Fate had decided to throw another wrench into his plans, offering up the harsh lesson that life just wasn't picture perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembered how his mum had offered him a sympathetic smile when he had told her the news that there would be no wedding and that Jonathan had moved out. He had disappointed her – again – and he regretted that, but he couldn’t marry Jonathan, he couldn’t build a life with him, not when his heart was somewhere else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now instead of standing in front of the church saying his vows, he was trying to put as many miles as possible between him and the wedding that wasn’t and the one man he wanted but knew he could never have.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Picking up the wreckage of his shattered dreams, he knew he had to seek comfort in the only place he ever felt safe: his aunt's cottage off the coast of Scotland.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't love him. Maybe I never did.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It had started out as lust, evolved into a friendship, but the love and passion had fizzled quickly. They had both tried to bring the spark back but even getting engaged - making that promise of a lifelong commitment - had just been a last-ditch effort to save what was left of their relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After their last shouting match over stupid table decorations, they ended up having a blow-up where Jonathan accused Aaron of wanting someone else over him, namely Robert – which was always a constant focus every time they got into a fight. Aaron always denied it, which only seemed to fuel Jonathan's anger and resentment towards Robert and was becoming more and more apparent as they got closer to the wedding.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He's just a friend, nothing more. Get over it already, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Aaron would try and calm his fiance's fears, but as time went on Aaron got tired of having to constantly reassure Jonathan that he had nothing to worry about, that he wasn't going to leave him for Robert. The frustration continued to mount until finally, Jonathan gave Aaron an ultimatum: </span>
  <em>
    <span>end your relationship with Robert or we're through.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back now, Aaron realized he should have known it was over between them when he didn't even have to think twice. He would have chosen his friendship with Robert hands down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't look at himself in the mirror and admit the truth. He knew if he did, if he acknowledged that Jonathan wasn't far off the mark, he would have to face that he was more worried about losing Robert than his fiance. And that wasn't something he was ready to deal with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Robert, it's always been different. They had never crossed the line, but emotionally Aaron was more invested in his relationship with Robert than in the man he was engaged to. Robert somehow had managed to strip through his dark secrets and made him feel a desire he had never known. And he hated himself for it, and hated Robert more for making him feel that way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their connection had been immediate from the start, like they had known each other forever. At the time Aaron had just started dating Jonathan and Robert well he was still coming to terms with being bi-sexual. They both needed someone they could talk to, share their deepest secrets with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But how, Aaron wondered, had he fallen in love with his best friend?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fought it with every part of himself, but as he had come to figure out, the heart wanted what it wanted, and what his heart wanted was Robert. Why had it fallen for a walking disaster and not someone sensible and loving like Jonathan?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron was torn. He knew the way he felt about Robert was dangerous. He could tell by the way Robert could so easily tear through his defenses, making him question everything he thought he knew about himself, that wanting him was wrong and it was only going to end in heartbreak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert had his own demons to carry, ones that had lurked all his life. His mother had died when he was young and his father liked to use his fists on his children, mainly Robert, to deal with life’s problems. He had gotten used to it over the years, but now that his father was gone, he started to rebuild his life and left a trail of broken hearts in his wake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, Robert wasn’t the settling down kind of guy, and Aaron wanted that. He wanted to find someone that he could spend the rest of his life with, and Robert just wasn’t it. He had one strict rule, one he had shared with Aaron months ago – he had no interest in spending forever with anyone. Love and commitment, Robert always told him, wasn’t in the cards for him. He didn’t want it and he certainly wasn’t looking for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed some distance. He had done exactly what he had sworn he would never do – fall in love with Robert. He hadn't planned it, and he certainly didn't want to feel this way. Friendship should have been enough; he didn't want to hand his heart over to someone that was that cocky and arrogant, who thought little of anybody else but himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The heart wants what it wants.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure if it was the choppy flight making him feel so uneasy – or regret that he’d thrown away what could have been his one chance at happiness, someone to share his life with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Should he have gone through with it? Maybe in time, he could have fallen in love with Jonathan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A thousand maybes ran through his mind, but they weren’t enough to convince him to stand in front of their friends and family and promise Jonathan forever when he knew deep down that he couldn’t offer what Jonathan deserved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t lie anymore. It hurt too much. He had done the right thing. Ending it before they reached their wedding day was the right thing to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plane lurched and Aaron closed his eyes. It was the turbulence, he told himself. Definitely the flight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a couple of weeks, he would escape to his aunt’s beach cottage in Sweetadira Cove, and try to find some peace with his decisions and put an end to his feelings for Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t believe in soul mates, at least that’s what he tried to convince himself. He thought he’d found his forever in Jonathan, and the world had proved him wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Romance was the last thing on his mind now, Aaron thought as he walked up the stone pathway and unlocked the door to the cottage. But he also knew that life was full of surprises and full of plot twists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he tossed his suitcase on the bed and laid back against the soft pillows, he shut his eyes and tried to picture anything but Robert, damn him and his good looks, his charming but cocky attitude, and his intoxicating smile that broke through his defenses every damn time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to let go of the notion that they had any sort of future together – Robert was with someone now. It wasn’t serious, but Aaron knew that could change, even though Robert was adamant that she was nobody special, just a random hook up that his sister had arranged. Vic, like Aaron, was convinced that her brother was capable of love and tended to interfere in his love life by introducing him to people she thought he would hit it off with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron put the pillow over his face, trying to block out the mental image of Robert and </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>in bed together, making love, or whatever the hell Robert did with the women he took to bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert had never been predictable. Anything could happen between him and his latest girlfriend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were best friends. Aaron scoffed. That’s how Robert thought of him, and that was never going to change no matter how much Aaron had wanted it to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron opened his eyes and rummaged through his jacket pocket when he heard his phone go off. He stared at the screen and wanted to curse the gods. Just when he had stopped thinking about him…</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why won’t he leave me alone? How does he not know that it’s because of him that I’m running away not my wedding that never was?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron rubbed his hands over his face, contemplated just hitting delete and throwing his phone in the ocean.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your mum said you packed a bag and got on a flight up to your aunt’s cottage. I know you’re upset about what happened between you and Jonathan, but that’s no reason to disappear. I really need to talk to you. I'm coming out there to see you. This can't wait.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Robert had a bad reputation, and it wasn’t something he was proud of, but it had its advantages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Growing up with a mom who spent most of her time locked up in her bedroom depressed, and a dad who had a wandering eye and his hands always around a bottle of whiskey, had taught him the harsh lessons in life early.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mum had taken the coward’s way out. She just let it happen, Robert thought, like driftwood tumbling in the tide. She let her husband get away with sleeping with random women with no repercussions while their marriage fell apart. Powerless to stop his cheating ways, she ended her own life instead of facing her problems head-on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a secret he shared with Aaron – something they had bonded over after Robert had learned about Aaron’s first boyfriend who had committed suicide. Robert always thought it would be a secret he would take to his grave, but Aaron had allowed him to open up about his deepest and darkest secret, and had promised to never say a word to anyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he never had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had never had a friend like Aaron, someone he could count on, trust with his life. Someone who didn’t expect anything more from him then he was willing to give.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But with Aaron, he could be himself freely. He didn’t have to put on a front like he did with everyone else. Aaron was </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It had always been that way ever since the first day they met when Robert had driven his brand new black Mercedes into the garage where Aaron worked complaining of an oil leak. Aaron had sent him one dirty look as if to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m busy, stop bothering me. I’ll get to it when I can. </span>
  </em>
  <span> Robert had dropped off his keys and got a lift to his office where he was CEO of a winery that he had built from the ground up that was quickly becoming quite popular in Emmerdale's tourist market.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now Aaron’s life had fallen apart and he had run away to get away from it all, to try and figure out what to do with his life now that he was on his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What had happened between him and Jonathan that had made Aaron want to call off the wedding? Had one of them been unfaithful? Had they had a big fight? Robert didn't get it. He never understood the attraction or saw even a flicker of a spark between the two of them, but it wasn't his place so he never asked. Now he wanted to know what had gone wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On impulse, he had bought a plane ticket. He had slipped out of bed without waking Alissa, who was sprawled naked in bed. It was a low move just bailing on her, but he had learned the hard way that it was worse if he stayed. She would just want to snuggle up to him and make hopeful plans for another date when everything in him was screaming to run. So he let her sleep and hunted for his jeans and shirt on the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought about leaving her a note but decided against it. What could he say? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thanks for the lay, but I'm not going to call you ever again?</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Yeah, no. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had lasted a few weeks. More than most of his relationships. It had started out exciting, but had quickly turned into something else that he wasn't ready for. The flirting over shots, the way she had whispered into his ear. How he had given in and kissed her hard and fast, hating himself the whole time, but hoping that this time - with this girl - he'd find some escape, a way to forget his demons, just for a little while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But whatever he had been looking for, he didn't find it. Not in this girl, and not in any of the ones that had come before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scarred by old betrayals, Robert had sworn never to put his heart on the line again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If his parents’ marriage had taught him anything it was that love didn’t last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't remember the last time he was in such a hurry to get out of town. He stopped off at his flat to quickly pack a bag before grabbing a cab to the airport.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to see Aaron, make sure he was okay. After the news had made its way around the village that Aaron’s wedding hadn’t just been postponed but canceled indefinitely, Robert had gone in search for his best friend, and it had only taken one look at Aaron’s heartbroken mum for him to realize that Aaron had done a runner and left the village. His aunt had confirmed his suspicions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert came back down to earth and saw Aaron standing there in the sand in his bare feet watching the waves roll in. The silver ring that had been on his finger was gone. He was no longer promised to another man. He wasn't doing anything wrong by being here, and if something was to happen between them, it was nobody else's business but theirs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But what would happen? He didn't come all this way to just check to see how Aaron was doing. No, he knew what his intentions were as soon as he had stepped off that plane. When he got off the gate and switched his phone back on, he found a dozen text messages from Alissa waiting for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ignored them.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't look at your messages. Seriously - don't! Or you'll chicken out and you'll never know. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>So instead he took a deep breath and braced himself before jumping into a rental car and making the short drive to the cottage. He'd been there before; Aaron had invited him out last summer with his current girlfriend at the time. That relationship hadn't lasted one full day before Rachel - yeah that was her name - stormed off in the middle of the night after they'd had a row about something petty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breathless affairs, one-night stands, that's what Robert was comfortable with. This, feeling so nervous just because his best friend was a few feet away, he was not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew this was his last chance to turn around and walk away before things went any farther. He could give himself up and surrender to the force that was far greater than he could understand, or turn and walk away – live the rest of his life playing it safe on dry land, knowing that he was about to take the biggest risk of his life – if he was brave enough to risk it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron had come crashing into his life without warning, and sent his plans scattering into the wind, turning his whole world upside down. Everything he thought he knew, everything he thought he wanted, he questioned, and all because of a grouchy, self-obsessed mechanic who, Robert could admit, he couldn't live without. Was he being naïve, stupid to actually believe that he had a shot?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t meant for this to happen, to fall so hard for someone, especially someone like Aaron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t what he was looking for. Aaron could never be a mindless one night stand or casual lover. He wouldn’t risk their friendship for something so meaningless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In an act of faith, or stupidity he wasn’t sure, he had hopped on a plane and come here, to do what he still had no clue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spent so much of his life jet-setting around the world to exotic locations, building his empire from his laptop, and waking up next to strangers in hotel rooms, half the time he never even remembered their name. When had he become so shallow? he wondered. He could blame it on his father, the way he was raised, but the truth was the blame for his lifestyle was right at his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Aaron made him want to change, to make better life choices, to stop being so selfish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, Robert thought, when had Aaron made him crave him like nobody else had before?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at the back of Aaron’s head and knew this was not going to be easy. It wasn’t going to be simple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was going to get very complicated if he followed through with this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of the waves is a welcome noise - to help drown out the guilt and shame trailing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he does this, if he takes this risk, he knew there would be no turning back. For either of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The question was, was he brave enough to take the leap?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aaron hated himself for thinking about Robert when he had just broken off his engagement to a man he had been about to promise forever to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The want for Robert had been imprinted deep in Aaron's DNA from the minute they met. It was written in every fiber of his soul. From their first encounter at the garage when Robert had tossed him the keys to his expensive flashy car, Aaron had found him arrogant. He shouldn't have been remotely attracted to someone like that. He liked to keep his life drama-free and quiet, then Robert had walked in and turned everything upside down. He had been determined to keep his feelings under wraps, but it wasn't long before Robert broke down every wall he had spent years putting up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guys like Robert had no shame and they were emotionally unavailable. Even knowing all of that didn't change how he felt. He wished it did. Everything would have been easier that way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had needed some time away from all of the whispers, the speculation he knew was going on back home. The last person he wanted to hear from was Robert. He couldn't deal with him right now, not on top of everything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This wasn't about Robert, he told himself. He wasn't the reason he had called his wedding off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought about their engagement photo beaming out from the front page in the local newspaper. The photo didn't show the doubts whirling in his mind, even then. Or the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach every time he looked at the silver wedding band on his finger, and picked out a wedding suit, and tasted cake samples with Jonathan. It had felt like the walls had been closing in on him, crushing him with icy panic, until he'd woken up in a cold sweat and had known without a doubt he couldn't go through with it. It wasn't fair to Jonathan. Aaron didn't love him, not the way he needed to if he was going to stand up and say vows when he didn't mean them. It would have been a lie, and he couldn't live that way. And as much as he longed for a life with someone, building the kind of future he wanted for himself, every instinct in his body was screaming at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not this time. And not this man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His instincts had been right, because now the sinking feeling was gone - replaced by an epic black hole of guilt. It still made him feel sick with shame, remembering the look on Jonathan's face when he had told him that he couldn't do this anymore, that they were over. Maybe Jonathan had seen it coming - things had been distant and tense between them for months - but still, it hadn't made it any easier saying the words "it's over" and the guilt had only increased when Jonathan accused him once again of wanting Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been dramatic, Aaron thought now, tossing his ring at Aaron before storming out of their flat. The truth was the real reason he'd ended their relationship hadn't had anything to do with Robert. Okay, maybe a little bit, but it had been a year and Aaron didn't feel anything close to love or desire for the man he was engaged to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's aunt Cassie had been one of the first to reach out and offered him her beach cottage in Scotland for a few weeks so he could clear his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Trust me," Cassie had said to him in her usual no-nonsense tone. "If you stick around, you'll let them talk you into getting back together with Jonathan. You don't need that. You need a change of scenery." It was like she had known Jonathan wasn't right for him. She was one of the few people he trusted with his secret that for the past few months he'd been longing for someone else. He never said who it was, and she had never asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even as he had lugged his bags into the cottage earlier, the notifications on his phone reminded him that he had to return the panicked voicemails from his mum before she did something crazy and reported him missing. It hung over him like a black cloud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking out over the water, he stuffed his hands in the pocket of his jeans, and just shut his eyes and listened to the sounds of the ocean. The rhythm of the waves was peaceful, as they gently caressed the shore. The view alone was worth a million dollars. There was nothing like the gentle curve of the bay and the sparkling blue ocean stretching out to the horizon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Here he could shut himself away miles away from all of the drama, and focus on figuring out how to fix whatever the hell was wrong with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sky was turning pink, the sun lifting over the horizon and glinted on the dark ocean. He inhaled a lungful of crisp, tangy sea air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Memories hit him in a rush, and just like that, he was feeling torn again. He turned to walk back to the cottage, decided that sitting on the porch with a shot of whiskey was the perfect way to end the day. He was worn out from travel, and counted the minutes until he could collapse into bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But when he turned around, he saw the last person he ever expected to see, just a few feet from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, this had to be a dream, Aaron thought. Had he somehow conjured up Robert's image in his mind when he'd been analyzing his every mistake from calling off his wedding to his unrequited feelings for the person he considered to be his best friend, who was now standing in front of him and looking at him like he could read his mind?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had tiptoed around telling Robert face to face about the breakup. They never talked about their relationships. It was sort of an unspoken rule between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert gave him a knowing look before his cocky smile broke through. "You didn't respond to my text so I thought I'd come out here, see how you were doing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron just shrugged his shoulders. "Some things just aren't meant to be. You didn't need to come all the way out here just to check up on me. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself." He pushed away from the whisper of doubt in the back of his head and focused on Robert's face. He'd been up the past few nights and exhaustion was hitting him hard. "I don't really want to talk about it. I was just heading back in, I haven't slept in days."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert didn't say anything, he just followed Aaron back up the stone pathway to the porch. He watched Aaron fish the key out of his pocket and unlocked the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What fresh hell was this? Aaron thought when he realized it seemed Robert had no plans to leave. Aaron spotted Robert toss his bag on the bed in one of the other spare rooms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you think you're doing? You can't stay here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I booked a few days off of work to come here and spend some time with you, and you're not going to let me stay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is all about me, is it? It has nothing to do with the fact that I called off my wedding? Someone sent you down here to check on me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Robert denied. "I mean, yeah your aunt mentioned you were coming here, but she didn't send me if that's what you're implying. When I heard about what happened, I got worried. Am I not allowed to worry about my best friend when he was just dumped?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't dumped," Aaron mumbled. "I ended it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh. The word going around is that he left you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't care what people think, that's not what happened."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what happened then?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I said I don't want to talk about it. Especially with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What the hell did that mean?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know how to take that. You're my best friend, Aaron. You just ended your engagement. I thought we could talk about anything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron stormed down the stairs and grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet in the kitchen, and slamming the door behind him, sat on the porch steps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert strolled out onto the porch, leaving the door open. "I want to know what the hell you meant by that. Why can't you talk to me about what's going on with you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't know anything about relationships. Real relationships. You spend all your time hopping from bed to bed without any feeling towards the person you just slept with. I'm not wired that way."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That stung, but it wasn't far from the truth so Robert let it slide. But it hurt that that was how Aaron saw him. He had a lot of damage to repair if he could even think about telling Aaron that he couldn't stop thinking about him, wanting him in a way that was in no way friendly. Aaron would just run for the hills and he would lose his best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to change, Robert knew that. And for Aaron, he would try his damnest. He was so tired of the nameless strings of one night stands just to forget the unwanted feelings that Aaron stirred inside of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron couldn't afford to make one more mistake. A mistake like Robert, annoyingly handsome, wildly arrogant, would just end in heartbreak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't kick Robert out, not when he'd traveled all this way just to see how he was. He wished he could forget every excruciating detail of Robert. His eyes that felt like they were piercing his soul, his strong jaw, the chiseled arms straining under his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit. Why was it so easy for Robert to get under his skin?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert touched his arm, and Aaron was already becoming undone. With one fucking touch. "Well?" Robert said, scowling impatiently. "Can I stay or what?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As attracted as he is to Robert, Robert still unnerves him and is as infuriating as ever. Aaron just wanted to turn around and bolt, get as far away from Robert as he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there was nowhere he could run so he would just have to deal with it, and never let on how Robert affects him, because that would just be disastrous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron knew he should know better, he should be stronger than this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron looked down at his watch. "It's already late and what kind of friend would I be if I kicked you out. I'll make a deal with you. We both go get some sleep, then we'll talk in the morning. I'll tell you all the sordid details of my failed engagement, then you can leave."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert had no intention of leaving, but he said nothing. "Fine." He arched an eyebrow and gave Aaron a smirk that made Aaron flush. And it triggered more emotions that Aaron didn't even want to try and sort through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he gave Robert a lazy grin and handed him the bottle of whiskey. "Let's toast to the mess I've made of my life."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile disappeared from Robert's face. "Don't talk like that. Your life isn't a mess. Just because you and Jonathan didn't work out, doesn't mean there's not someone out there that's right for you. You just haven't found him yet."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's me, I want it to be me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Robert's mind constantly tormented him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You're not good enough for him. You're his friend, nothing more. He's not interested in you like that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt a twinge of guilt, for the reckless way he'd been living his life. It had been fun at the beginning, but now it was affecting how Aaron saw him. Aaron would never be interested in being with him. He would just think he was just another notch on his bedpost, when it wouldn't be like that. With Aaron, he wanted more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When had that changed? When had Aaron become the only thing he wanted?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't just waltz over here like it was some grand gesture on his part and console Aaron. He couldn't expect Aaron to all of a sudden want more from him. He had put his own plans on hold just to be here. He didn't want Aaron's gratitude, he realized. He wanted Aaron to look at him as more than just a friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that scared the shit out of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert always acted on impulse, it had been ingrained in him. He'd learned the hard way that he had to leap at every opportunity presented to him. But Aaron wasn't a business deal or a fancy car that he could possess. He was a person, and was slowly becoming someone he just couldn't live without.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There hadn't been time for careful planning when it came to Aaron. He had just swooped into his life without any warning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What the hell was he going to do with all these feelings that were bubbling in his chest? He didn't want them, he wished they would just go away. He didn't want to want Aaron this much. He just wanted to go back to living his life the way he had before, no strings, no demands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to take this unexpected detour that had suddenly shown up, wrecking his plans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he didn't want to play it safe anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron looked out in the direction of the water. "Thanks for being here. You always seem to know when I'm in trouble when I just need someone to be there. I've never had a friend like that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll always be here for, Aaron. Always."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Robert had been finishing up his final semester in college when his dad got sick. Stomach cancer. There had never been any question in Robert's mind about what to do. He finished up his classes and moved straight back home to Emmerdale, driving Jack to his appointments, making sure he took his meds on time. He even took over Jack's contracting jobs to keep the money coming in, watching as his dad's good days got further and fewer in between, until finally, his legendary stubbornness was no match for the cancer in his gut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that, Robert had thought about leaving again for a big city, but it never had the same appeal. The village had pulled together for them, looked out for them, sent casseroles and prayers, and sat with him through the worst of it. He would never admit it to anyone, but they were the only family he had left. So, he had stuck around, and worked hard on building his business, and built a reputation as the guy who could get the job done. He'd even started thinking about settling down and starting a family of his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that's when it had all gone to hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A fiance who was sneaking around behind his back bedding his best friend had turned him off from ever wanting to be in a serious relationship ever again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe that's why Aaron's opinion of him had bothered him so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn't always been like this. Once he had been happy in a committed relationship, but then it had all fallen apart and he started to believe that maybe he was never going to find "the one". He thought he had and look where he had ended up. He had given his heart to someone and they stomped on it until there was nothing left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tide of regret slammed through Robert, the same guilt and shame that hit whenever he was reminded about the biggest failure of his life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn't been enough for Kristina, if he had she wouldn't have turned to another man to get whatever he wasn't giving her at home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had tried, god he had tried, to move past it when their relationship had ended, but he couldn't face the truth. Instead, he blocked his heart off and promised himself that from now on he wouldn't allow anyone in. Serious relationships had to be a thing of the past. From now on it would just be casual flings and one-night stands. Then he would never have to relive the pain of having his heartbroken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now as he gripped a hot cup of coffee in his hands and watched the sun come up on the porch of Aaron's aunt's cottage, he exhaled and felt the sting of the undeniable truth that he was right back where he started, loving someone that didn't love him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it scared the shit out of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron was nothing like Kristina, Robert knew that, but that didn't stop the pangs of fear thumping in his chest. It was still a risk, one that he wasn't sure he was ready to take.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his surprise - and relief - Aaron hadn't kicked him out last night. Or maybe Aaron had just been too tired to argue with him about it. He had been adamant that he wasn't leaving, but maybe he should have. He shouldn't be here. He should pack his stuff and drive back to the airport. Leave Aaron alone like he wanted, then the two of them could just drown in their own misery separately.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Aaron had been exhausted when he'd pulled his rental car into the driveway. He'd slept, and by the time he had an epic hot shower and unpacked his things in the guest bedroom, he felt almost human again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a bright, blue-skied morning. The sun was faint and warming and a breeze danced in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron finally felt himself start to relax. He had been tense for months it felt like - with the wedding plans hurtling towards the finish line. For a moment all that stress felt a thousand miles away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sweetadira Cove always had a way of making him feel at home. The winding country lanes lined with trees, the green of the town square, the rocky, sandy beach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron breathed in the salty air, felt the breeze at the back of his neck, and instantly felt at peace. Then he saw Robert sitting on the front steps of the porch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So much for the peace and quiet he had been hoping for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sleep well?" Aaron said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert turned to look at him, and Aaron felt the tug at his heart that was becoming far too insistent. "Yeah, I didn't realize how tired I was. Work has been hectic. Putting together this big reception has been more work than I expected it to be. You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork I've had to deal with."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite Robert's escapades and romantic entanglements, Aaron knew how hard Robert worked to make his business a success. Just add it to the growing list of all of the things Aaron admired about him. He had his priorities. Aaron was pretty sure Robert didn't have as an active sex life as he claimed. It was just a front to hide his sadness, Aaron sensed it. Aaron knew him better than anyone else did, he took pride in that, and he just didn't believe any of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron sat down easily in the vacant spot beside Robert. "You didn't have to come all the way down here. I know how important your work is to you. The big event is coming up soon, isn't it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"One week," Robert said. "I know when I asked you, you said you would come. Now that you're not with Jonathan..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll still be there," Aaron said, interrupting him. "Just because I'm not with someone now doesn't mean I still won't come out and support you. And I can't say no to free wine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This new one you'll like. One of the boldest I think we've ever made."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can't wait," Aaron murmured, avoiding the topic, the real reason Robert was here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So about you and Jonathan..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron wanted to disappear and crawl back into bed. "Do we really have to get into it? I told you, I ended it, it's over. What's the point in re-hashing it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were only two weeks away from getting married. And look, I know it's not my place to say anything, but you never looked like you were that happy with him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because he knew Robert could always read him so well, the way Robert always seemed to know everything he was feeling without him having to say a word, Aaron wondered how it had slipped right past Robert's radar that Aaron was so desperately in love with him, not Jonathan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe I wasn't," Aaron murmured. Admitting it out loud for the first time to anyone, and of course, it was to Robert. The man who made him feel comfortable in his skin, who never judged him, who only ever offered him friendship with no strings or expectations. "I don't think I ever really loved him. God, that makes me sound like such a terrible person. I moved in with him, I accepted his marriage proposal, and I didn't even love him. How could I do that? I hurt him and I destroyed my one chance at being happy, all because of..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"All because of what?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing," Aaron said quickly. "It's nothing. It just wasn't right. I never felt that spark, you know the one you're supposed to feel when you fall in love with someone. I never felt that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then why say yes when he asked you to marry him?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because I wanted to be in love with him. I wanted to spend my life with someone. I wanted someone to love me, make me forget that the rest of my life is shit."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's bull shit," Robert said, a hint of anger in his voice. "Your life isn't shit. You own your own business, you have friends and family who love you. You're not exactly wanting for anything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron dragged his gaze away from Robert, played with the string on his hoody. He shouldn't be looking at Robert with so much longing. This was the guy that never gave his heart to anyone. He had to stop living in a dream world. "You don't understand. You can have anybody you want. If you wanted to fall in love, you could, but I guess it's hard for a leopard to change his spots."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile slipped from Robert's face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron saw Robert's face. He had a feeling he had just said the wrong thing. "What did I say?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It may look that way on the outside," Robert said. "That I'm this cold person, that I have no feelings, that I can't fall in love, that I don't want to, but you would be wrong. Do you have any idea what it's like to want someone so much that it hurts? But you can't be with them because they don't see you that way. And instead of facing how you feel about that person, you do something totally stupid like sleep with random strangers in the hope that they'll make you forget that you can't have the one you want?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you talking about? You've never told me any of this. Ever since I've known you you've never been serious about anyone, and you definitely have never been in love before, at least that I've seen."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like to think of myself as charming and irresistible, but with him, I don't feel like that. I feel nervous and scared but happy and excited all at the same time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's the way it's supposed to feel," Aaron said, still in shock that Robert, his best friend, was in love with someone and so vulnerable. Being vulnerable wasn't a weakness, but it allowed you to feel love, to give it. It crushed Aaron's heart that it wasn't him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's amazing," Robert murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah I bet," Aaron muttered. Then his tone softened. He had no right to be jealous. "So tell me more about this guy. Have you told him how you feel?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why not?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because he doesn't feel the same about me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How do you know?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was with someone until recently. If he had feelings for me, he would have told me. He wouldn't have gotten himself engaged."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron couldn't feel anything but the rapid beating of his own heart. "He's engaged? How the hell did you fall in someone if they're with someone else? Geez, Robert. There are plenty of other guys out there that are single. Why do you do this to yourself? You could have your pick of anyone, why would you---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't get it, do you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Clearly I'm missing something, so spit it out. I'm too old for guessing games."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's you. It's always been you." Robert regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth, but it was too late to take them back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me? Robert, what are you talking about? If this is some kind of sick joke---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could change his mind, Robert grabbed Aaron by the collar of his hoody and crushed their mouths together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm in love with you, Aaron. Have been for a long time. Now I know I've probably messed everything up between us now, but I can't keep living this way. I can't keep trying to pretend I don't feel this way, no matter how hard I've tried to deny it. I thought just being your friend was enough but it's not. When you announced your engagement I tried really hard to just let it go and be happy for you. I don't know what I was thinking of coming here. Hell, I haven't been able to think straight when it comes to you for a while. I'm risking our friendship and if it comes down to me losing you completely I guess I'll have to learn to live with that. I'm in love with you and I'm sick of denying it. To myself, to you, because I'm scared that you'll reject me, that you'll tell me you don't feel the same. Because I know I fucked up by making you believe that I just go around sleeping with whoever takes an interest in me, when it's not true. Alissa is the first person I've been with for months, and I only ever went out with her so I could try and forget about you. I knew you were getting married and any chance to ever telling you how I feel was gone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you telling me this now? I know what Kristina's betrayal did to you, Rob. You might go around pretending like you're some big hotshot who doesn't have any real feelings, but I know you. I know that's not the real you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not in love with her," Robert said shortly. "When I heard about what happened, I ended it. Just walked out on her while she was sleeping to come and find you. I dumped her over the phone. That makes me selfish I know, but I was worried about you. I wasn't planning on coming up here and telling you all of this, honest. All I wanted to do is come up here and be there for you, as your friend. It's selfish, I know that, telling you all of this when you've just ended your engagement. And I don't expect you to say anything. I'll just pack up my stuff and go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert didn't know how he was going to leave, but he knew it would be a mistake if he stayed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What did you expect? </span>
  </em>
  <span>A cruel voice taunts him, relentless. He looked around, a dull resignation settling in his stomach, the shame of his past staring back at him.</span>
  <em>
    <span> You shouldn't have come here. Just go! Go before you can talk yourself out of it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rob, no." Aaron grabbed his hand. "I don't want you to go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"After everything I just said to you, how can you want me to stay? If I were you, I would end our friendship and tell me to go to hell."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you're not me, are you?" Aaron murmured. "Maybe if you had told me any of this sooner, I wouldn't have gotten engaged, I would have ended things with Jonathan a long time ago."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why? Aaron, you don't feel the same about me, I know that. You don't need to be all nice about it to try and spare my feelings."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rob, I know you can be arrogant and cocky a lot of the time, but I never took you as being stupid."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Stupid? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Did you just call me stupid?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron didn't have the strength to lie anymore. Not to Robert, and not to himself. "Are you seriously telling me you don't know how I feel about you? You want to know why I really ended things with Jonathan?" When Robert only nodded, Aaron continued. "Because of you. I ended it because of you, because I've been in love with you for a long time, and Jonathan knew it. Well, he only suspected it, but I think deep down he knew."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You love me." Robert shook his head, trying to burn Aaron's every word into his memory. "I just thought I heard you say that you're in love with me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I did say that. Question is, what are we going to do about it?"</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The minutes seemed to melt together, punctuated by the revelation that had just altered their friendship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There could be no back-tracking now that the words had slipped out, Aaron thought, his hands gripped together in his lap. Had he made a mistake? Should he have just kept his mouth shut?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A thousand emotions battered Aaron's heart. A thousand thoughts swirled in his mind, none louder than </span>
  <em>
    <span>he doesn't want you, he only did when he thought you were taken.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Forget I said anything. Seeing you..." Aaron cleared his throat. "I just got caught up in the moment. Forget it, let's just forget it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The seconds ticked away and Robert still hadn't said a word. When he finally did, it wasn't to say what Aaron expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You deserve better than me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron smiled, though his chest tightened. "That's all you have to say after I just told you that I love you too? If I had known this was how you were going to react I would have just kept my mouth shut. We've always been honest with each other. You told me how you felt, I thought it was about time I was honest with you about how I felt too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You only just got out of a relationship. God Aaron, you're supposed to be getting married. The wounds are still fresh, you're not thinking clearly. I think you're just scared of being alone. You stayed with Jonathan and you didn't even love him. It scares me to think that you were about to go through with marrying him when you knew you didn't love him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not confused and I know what I want, I was just too scared to admit it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron, you're just upset about what happened. You only just broke up. Maybe you'll wake up tomorrow and change your mind and decide he's what you really want."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're what I want! Why are you not hearing me? I thought you wanted this. You just told me you loved me. Are you taking it back now?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, of course not. I meant what I said."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So why can't you believe me when I say I love you too? Why are you turning away from me? Do you not want me now?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want you more than anything," Robert said quietly, his voice breaking. "Believe me, there's nothing I want more than you at this moment, I just don't want you to wake up tomorrow and regret choosing me. I'm a disaster, you've said so yourself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We both are, but that doesn't mean I don't want this. I wouldn't have risked telling you how I feel if I didn't. I thought I knew what I wanted, I thought I could still get there with him, but as the wedding got closer I realized that I was only staying with him because I didn't want to hurt him. I thought once we got married that maybe I would stop feeling this way, that my feelings for you would disappear. We had this fight about the table decorations and he accused me of purposely trying to sabotage our wedding because I wanted you. He always thought you were flirting with me. He said I never did anything to discourage it. When he said that, I finally realized what I've been running away from and using him as a substitute because I couldn't have you. I finally had enough, I couldn't deal with his unfounded accusations anymore. When I denied it, he accused me of sleeping with you, and when I denied that too, it just seemed to set him off more. He kept going on about how I was treating him like he was stupid if I really believed that he couldn't see what was going on between you and me. I snapped, told him it was over. I never said anything about you, but after he threw his ring at me and walked out, I realized that he was right, that I was cheating on him with you. Emotionally anyway. It wasn't fair to him, I knew that. And I finally realized that getting married was the worst possible thing I could do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He really thought we were having an affair?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I believe he said something along the lines of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jesus, what a fucking cliche. Neither of you can keep it in your pants. It's so fucking obvious. </span>
  </em>
  <span>When I told him nothing was going on, he told me that if I was being honest and if I really wanted us to work, that I had to choose. You or him. How could I stay with him after that? This marriage wasn't going to work if my husband can't trust me. I would have just ended up resenting him and one of us would have walked away. Why get married in the first place then?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He gave you an ultimatum? If he didn't believe you when you told him there was nothing going on between us, how did he expect your marriage to work? He clearly has trust issues if he was forcing you to choose between us. I would never ask you to do that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But we've never just been friends, have we? And I'm tired of denying it. Aren't you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron, we can't just---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert." Aaron swallowed. "I love you. I'm going to keep repeating it until you believe me." The hard armor of denial melted away until the only thing left was the raw and naked truth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over and over Aaron said the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and each time, the words sank deeper until Robert finally let them in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you, too. God, I've loved you for so long, I just never thought you would ever feel the same way about me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron didn't know who moved first. One minute they were feet apart, the next they had their arms wrapped around each other and he could feel the sure, confident heat of Robert's mouth and the feel of Robert's body pressed against his. In the last five minutes, his stomach had been tied up in knots. It was undeniable; there was something between them and it was powerful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's heart beat faster as the distance between them shrunk with each passing minute. </span>
  <em>
    <span>God help us both, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought, the heat of connection sparking between them. Inexplicable, undeniable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They broke apart when they both heard the sound of an engine. A gleaming BMW pulled into the driveway, and a man got out and approached them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instinctively, Robert put a protective arm around Aaron's waist. "Are you expecting somebody?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron peered around the side of the porch. The last person in the world he expected to come strolling around the side of the house was the man he'd left hundreds of miles away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His ex-fiance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert tensed beside Aaron and dropped his arm from Aaron's waist. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell is he doing here?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan looked past Robert and met Aaron's eyes. "I see the two of you didn't waste any time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've told you a thousand times, he's just a friend," Aaron said.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Friend? </span>
  </em>
  <span>It shouldn't have hurt, but it did. What happened to the love declaration, the heated kiss between them? He had felt it in that one kiss. The love, the passion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were more than friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert tried to ignore the rejection that slammed over him like a shock of cold water. It didn't mean anything, he told himself. Aaron probably didn't want to say anything in front of Jonathan in fear of getting punched in the face, or worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Robert looked at Aaron again, he breathed out a sigh of relief. Aaron was staring back at him with a flood of emotion in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He recognized them all, felt every single one in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Love. If this what real, honest love felt like, he didn't ever want to live without it again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why don't I give the two of you some time alone to talk. I'm going to take a walk on the beach."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert didn't want to cause a scene. He tampered down on the urge to show Jonathan exactly what they were doing before he had rudely interrupted them with his unannounced visit. Instead, he touched Aaron's arm briefly before walking down the stone path to the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Aaron mouthed </span>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he gave Aaron a small smile and left them alone.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aaron stopped abruptly in his tracks, hands stuffed in the pocket of his jeans. "What are you doing here?" He can't figure out why Jonathan would make the trip out here when things between them hadn't exactly ended on good terms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hadn't been perfect. Hell, he had known that for months leading up to their breakup. The bickering that turned to fights - lasting too long, cutting too deep. The slamming doors and empty silences, the long hours he'd work just to avoid coming home because he was tired of all the fighting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But nothing was perfect, right? You had to just make it work. You fought for each other, for the life you were building, and got through the tough times, somehow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Aaron never saw it that way. "It shouldn't be this hard," he had told Jonathan, and just like that, he would take himself out of the fight. Jonathan was left alone on the battlefield with the sad, painful truth: Aaron hadn't loved him enough to keep fighting for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan wasn't enough for him in the end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now he knew why, Aaron thought, as he watched Robert walk down the beach.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I've always loved someone else. No one else even came close.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When had his feelings changed? Three weeks ago when they had been at the bakery wedding cake tasting? Earlier when he'd picked out his suit? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't know. All he knew was that instead of facing it, because deep down he had always had doubts, he chose to bottle everything up, another habit he's trying hard to break. He had to stop being so melodramatic about it, he thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just be honest, tell him the truth. Don't skirt around it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But he held his tongue, and instead held onto the railing and waited for Jonathan to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan stared at him now, lost in old memories. Aaron had already gotten over their breakup, if what he was seeing was any indication. Robert had wasted no time coming down here. He found a way to swoop right in, using his charm to try and wiggle his way into Aaron's good books by pretending to be supportive when Aaron's world had come crashing down. The bastard had been unable to help himself, just as Jonathan expected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had seen the look that passed between them. He wasn't stupid, and he wasn't blind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Relationships failed, sometimes people couldn't make it work - he knew that. He'd heard it all before. But deep down, Jonathan blamed Robert. He was the reason Aaron left him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fucking Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should have been able to give Aaron the life he wanted. He shouldn't have walked out on Aaron. He should have stopped obsessing about Robert. Maybe in time, they could have worked things out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan swallowed back the knot in his throat. People moved on all the time, and brooding and blaming somebody else wasn't going to bring back something already dead and buried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's rejection was still a fresh wound, but somehow it felt like a lifetime ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Open up and take that chance, to hell with the consequences. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I asked you what you were doing here," Aaron said, sensing Jonathan's evasiveness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I came here to apologize, for the way I've been acting. I accused you of being unfaithful and that was wrong. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all of those things. I didn't mean them. I know you and Robert aren't sleeping together."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're right, we're not. But that doesn't change anything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You weren't answering my phone calls or my texts so I thought I would come down and surprise you. I figured I would give you a couple of days to stew, clear your head then we could try again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Try again? We ended our engagement, we broke up. It wasn't just a tiff. It's over. It has been for a long time, we both know that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But it doesn't have to be. We can work this out. We can sit down together, figure out how to fix this and move on. We don't have to get married if you don't want to, but I don't want to give up on us. I love you too much to just walk away."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron tried again, lowered his voice. "I'm sorry, but whatever we had, it's gone." He couldn't hurt Jonathan more and admit that he had fallen out of love with him. No point in adding salt to the wound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan hated this; hated being the one always doing the begging. It was pathetic. "Aaron, please."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron imagined his rage if he knew the truth - that he had just declared his love to another man, and had kissed him right where Jonathan was standing. The man Jonathan had always accused him of wanting instead of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron felt sick to his stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is about </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, isn't it? Why the hell is here anyway?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hell, he hated this. He had already hurt Jonathan when he'd ended their engagement, he couldn't slice the knife in deeper. "He heard about what happened. He just came by to check on me, make sure I was okay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He flew all the way out here just to make sure you were okay. He could have picked up the phone and done that. He just can't help himself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I haven't exactly been returning phone calls or messages," Aaron said. "He was worried when I wasn't answering, so he came out here. He's not staying long. He has a business to run, a launch coming up next week. It's not like he's staying the weekend. Even if he was, that's none of your business anymore."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You and I both know that he's always had a thing for you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You and I both know a lot of things," Aaron shot back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan's face twisted into silent accusations. "You're unbelievable. Is he really worth all of this? I could have given you everything, Aaron. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Everything. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You're willing to throw all of it away for someone like him?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"First of all, we didn't break up because of him. You were forcing me to choose. Why would I want to be with somebody like that, someone who is jealous and possessive? I am so sick of having the same argument with you. Every time we fight, you make it about him. But you and me, we were never going to work not when you couldn't trust me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know I have some issues to work on," Jonathan said. "But I want to try and work them out. With you. I don't want us to throw all of this away just because we have problems. They're solvable, Aaron. We just have to give it a chance."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There's no point," Aaron said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And I don't want to. I want to be with Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was too late, Jonathan could see it in Aaron's eyes, but he wasn't one to give up so easily, not when it was something he really wanted. And he still wanted Aaron. "Let's just give it a chance, yeah? Come back home and we can work through it. We can take things slow if that's what you want, and I promise I won't bring Robert up anymore. If you say you're just friends and nothing's going on, I'll believe you. Please, Aaron."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron closed his eyes and hung his head, feeling lost. Confused. Why did Jonathan keep punishing both of them? And why did he keep pushing the self-destruct button? He had been the one to walk away from Jonathan, to disappear without so much as a word to anyone. He had initiated the kiss with Robert, broken down, and finally admitted that he was in love with him. But did he really know what he wanted? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Confused. He was so confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just don't know what I want," Aaron admitted. "Not anymore." He was unraveling. God, why couldn't it have been easy to just make a decision and stick to it? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron turned around when he heard muffled footsteps behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry to interrupt." Robert appeared from the front door, his bag over his shoulder. "I have to get back. An emergency with the launch that needs my attention. Sounds like you guys still have a lot to talk about anyway so I'll leave you to it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron could see it in Robert's eyes that he had overheard Aaron's admission that he wasn't sure what he wanted. Or worse yet, Robert was bailing because he wasn't sure what he wanted either. "We still need to talk, Robert."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We can when you get back. I really can't do this right now, this launch is really important and I want it to succeed. You and Jonathan don't need me here. Spend some time together without having to worry about wedding plans or anyone else interfering. Then come back home and decide where you both go from here. You might change your mind."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron closed his eyes, tried to ignore the pangs of hurt. Robert was running away. From him, from them, whatever it was that had started to ignite between them before Jonathan had shown up. "I'll walk you to your car then."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't need to," Robert said shortly. He turned to Jonathan, reached out his hand. "Good to see you. Take it easy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan gaped. "Yeah, you too man."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a brief moment, Aaron considered running after Robert. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You're not mine to lose. You never were. </span>
  </em>
  <span>As he watched Robert's car drive away, Aaron felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In typical Robert fashion, he had walked away without letting Aaron get a word in, leaving Aaron to question if he had made the wrong choice and let the wrong man go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't even mad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shouldn't even consider inviting Jonathan inside, but he's already halfway to the front door and Robert is gone and he's not sure where they stand now. "So," Aaron said. "You want to come inside and have a drink?"</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Robert slammed his hand against the steering wheel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't even be mad at Jonathan for just showing up. If it had been him he would have done anything to fight for Aaron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as he glanced back in the rearview mirror and saw Aaron lead Jonathan inside the cottage, his heart sank.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An hour ago, neither of their pasts had mattered, and old wounds had seemed like a lifetime ago. For the first time in a long time, Robert had found himself wondering what it would be like to try again with someone, for real this time. Open up and take that chance, to hell with the consequences.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until Aaron's ex-fiance had shown up and he realized that Aaron's past wasn't ancient history after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was for the best, Robert thought as he drove to the airport, trying not to think about what Aaron was doing with Jonathan right at that moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't matter. Robert had taken the hint. Aaron was better off without him. He was better off alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Besides, he still had a woman back at home if he wanted one, one that was more than willing to share her bed without any promises of forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Robert knows if it was anybody else he wouldn't even think twice, but it's Aaron.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's always been Aaron.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to go back living a life that didn't include Aaron, he didn't want a future where the outcome wasn't the two of them ending up together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He only had a tiny glimpse of what they could be like together, and that had been enough for him to realize that he'll wait forever if he has to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted Aaron for the rest of his life. Panic swirled through him; he never meant for this happen, he didn't want to feel this strongly for someone. He had spent years building up walls around his heart to keep emotions like this at bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't the forever type of guy, but Aaron changed all of that. Aaron changed him, whether he knew it or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For now, he knew he had to be patient, let Aaron work out his past, put it to rest once and for all. They can't move on until he does, they both know that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They still have a lot of obstacles to overcome - and it won't be easy, he knows that - but for the first time in a long time, he's found something that's worth waiting for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Aaron is worth fighting for, whatever the cost, no matter how long it takes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't give Aaron the chance to change his mind. Before the plane took off, he sent a quick text letting Aaron know that he understands that he has to deal with his past, that he'll be patient, that he loves him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you, Aaron. I'll wait for you. Whatever time you need, I'll give it to you. Just know that I meant every word I said to you out there. I'm not giving up on you, on us. I want this., you and me. When you're ready, you know where I am.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to stay focused on the business at hand, Robert told himself as he drove back to Emmerdale. He had a dilemma at the vineyard to deal with before he headed back to the office where a mountain of paperwork was waiting for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was going to be a long night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't help but smile hours later as he settled back in the chair in his office and saw the message from Aaron staring back at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I meant everything I said too. I love you too. I just have to sort some stuff out with Jonathan, but then I'm all yours. I'm sorry that our conversation got interrupted. If I had known he was going to just show up like that...I'm just sorry, but I promise I'll make it up to you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Robert hadn’t heard from Aaron in two days, so when a text popped up on his screen as he was finishing up for the day, it was a welcome distraction and put a grin on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Finally home. You free tonight?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been so busy with work - paperwork, checking in on the progress at the winery, going through the final preparation for the reception in four days - that he hadn't had a lot of time to miss Aaron, but he did when he went back to his empty flat at the end of the day. That's when the panic always kicked in. What if Aaron had changed his mind? The lack of text messages, much less a phone call, only spurred his doubts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was giving Aaron the space he needed, he reminded himself. Aaron loved him, wanted to be with him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I just have to deal with a few things then I’m all yours. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Aaron’s words came rushing back to him like a tidal wave. He promised to be patient, but he never expected it to be so hard. He hated that Aaron was miles away, with Jonathan, his ex-fiance, his ex-lover. The word made him cringe. He didn't want to think about it, it made him edgy. He wanted Aaron here. With him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was on his way out the door of his office building, after another long, grueling day, his fingers typing back a reply to Aaron's text when he saw a shadowy figure in the parking lot, leaning against a silver Jag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could see the man clearly, illuminated by the headlights of his car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last person in the world he expected to show up at his place of business was Aaron’s ex-fiance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan had touched down an hour before, his first destination already planned out even before the plane had taken off: to confront the man he blamed for ruining his life, for trying to steal his man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was bitter, and rightfully so, Jonathan thought as he pocketed his keys and glared at Robert, a chip firmly planted on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert had seen this confrontation coming at some point, but not here, not now. "Jonathan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron's not here." Why else would Jonathan come here? His office building was on the other side of the village, miles away from Jonathan's flat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unless he had come here looking for a fight. If that was his game, Robert had no intention of getting involved or letting Jonathan coerce him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know that. I came here to talk to you. To tell you to leave him the hell alone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Still trying to control him?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I never tried to control him," Jonathan shot back. "If anyone is trying to control Aaron, it would be you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you talking about? He's not a machine. Aaron does what he wants, he's a big boy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He left me, and it's all your fault."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not my problem.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Or my fault, you idiot.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Smooth-talking bastard, Jonathan thought with a sneer. He leaned against the fender of his silver Jag, crossed his arms over his chest. “I know you’re interested in him so don't even try to deny it. Maybe interested isn’t the right word. You seem to have an obsession. Every time Aaron and I are going through a rough patch, there you are trying to be his knight in shining armor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaron is my friend. That’s all I’ve ever tried to be to him.” Okay, that wasn’t exactly true, not anymore, Robert thought, but no point in divulging that little piece of information when Jonathan was already foaming at the mouth. “And your problems with Aaron have nothing to do with me. You’re the one with trust issues. I know you think I’m to blame for whatever problems the two of you have, but I’ve done nothing to encourage them. You’re obviously intimidated by me or else you wouldn’t bring me up every single time you guys have a fight. You can’t tell Aaron who to be friends with, or who he can and can’t hang out with. The fact that your relationship with Aaron fell apart is not my fault. You might want to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself whose fault it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think it’s mine? We could have worked things out if you hadn’t lodged your nose into our business </span>
  <em>
    <span>again!</span>
  </em>
  <span> We weren’t broken up for a week and I go and find you’ve already been sniffing around him, trying to play the role of the devoted friend. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Nobody’s buying your act. One day Aaron is going to wake up and realize what a lying bastard you really are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan might be sophisticated and polished, but he was also jealous and possessive. Robert couldn’t understand what Aaron ever saw in him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then again, he thought, people were probably going to wonder the same thing about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go on,” Robert said, enjoying this. “Tell me more about all the things you hate about me. I know you’re just jealous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jealous?” Anger flashed in Jonathan’s eyes. “Why the hell would I be jealous of you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert shrugged. “Many reasons, I suppose, but I’m guessing the big one is because you know how Aaron really feels about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell are you on about? He doesn’t feel anything for you. He feels sorry for you. Why else would he have stayed friends with you for so long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have no idea, do you,” Robert murmured. “I know how he really feels about me, and so do you, or else you wouldn’t get so bent out of shape every time we’re in the same room together. Or are you going to deny that for the last few months you’ve done nothing but accuse Aaron of sleeping with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s between me and him,” Jonathan said through clenched teeth. “He told you that, did he? I bet he tells you about everything that goes between us. Did he tell you about all the times he’s cooked me dinner, romanced me, then taken me up to his bed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t need to,” Robert said. “He trusts me. When things go wrong in his life, he talks to me, not you. But he has told me what you guys fight about, and somehow it always involves me. Funny that, isn’t it that he can talk to me about anything and not his fiancé?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jonathan was not a naïve fool, though Aaron had played him for one. And now Robert was making him look like one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, but I do. If all you came here for was to have a go at me, you can leave. It’s been a long day and I just want to get home. I have to be back here at the crack of dawn and I need sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you even care about him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The question caught Robert off guard. “You have no idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unspoken accusations hung in the air. “One more thing. Did you really go up there to be his friend or were you looking to do something more?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s none of your business,” Robert said. “You’re not with him anymore. And you don’t own him. And what I talk about with Aaron or what we do together, doesn’t concern you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess that answers that,” Jonathan said, knowing full well before Robert had opened his mouth that he would find a way to skirt around the truth. “I always knew you were a bastard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really care what you think about me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Clearly,” Jonathan muttered under his breath. “Just stay out of it, yeah? Aaron and I, we can work things out if you just stay out of the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not going to happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that answers my next question.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Irritated, Robert rolled his eyes. “Which is what?” For a split second, a mere heartbeat, Robert felt a tiny prick of pity for the man. It disappeared almost as quickly as it came. "You know what, I don't care. As I've already told you, what's between me and Aaron is none of your business, and I have a lot on my plate right now so if you would just----"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan's fist hit Robert square in the mouth before he could react.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bastard," Robert said angrily, touching a finger to his lips where Jonathan's fist had collided. He turned sharply and gave Jonathan an icy glare. "What the hell did you do that for?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You deserved it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't do anything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We both know that's bull shit. You've crossed the line."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the hell are you talking about? I told you, Aaron and I are not sleeping together."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you've kissed him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what? Not until after you broke up." Realizing he had just admitted it, Robert sighed. "Aaron never told you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, but you just did."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You already knew though, didn't you? Otherwise, you wouldn't have driven all the way out here in the middle of the night to my office."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron was being really quiet after you left the cottage," Jonathan said. "I knew something had happened, but he wouldn't admit to anything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Probably because he was worried about how you would react." If the throbbing and fat lip he was now sporting was any indication, Aaron would have been right. "Do you at least feel better now that you've taken a swing at me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan ignored the question. "Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? I've already told Aaron and I'm telling you. I'm not giving up on us. I didn't spend the last year of my life with him to have someone like you swoop down and try and mess it up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He doesn't love you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That stung, but Jonathan didn't let it show. "Yes, he does. And you're an idiot if you think he doesn't. We've been through a lot together. He means everything to me. I'm not letting you screw that up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He doesn't want you back. I know you've been up at the cottage the last few days, but considering the fact that you didn't come back together I assume you didn't get back together, am I right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert nodded, satisfied. "You want to keep trying to get him back, have at it. Good luck cause you'll need it." He opened the door to his car. "This conversation is over. I don't want to see you here again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the hell are you doing here?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert and Jonathan both turned to find Aaron getting out of his car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Robert thought as the corner of his mouth lifted at just the sight of the man he loved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit, Jonathan thought, and took a deep, bracing breath before he faced the man who had broken his heart not just once, but twice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I asked you what you were doing here," Aaron said as he walked up to Jonathan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I could ask you the same thing." Jonathan didn't miss the look of longing Aaron sent in Robert's direction. "You and him. Hell."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't cheat on you, like I've told you a million times already." Frustrated, Aaron scratched the stubble covering his chin. Then he noticed Robert's split lip. "Robert..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you came here to see </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>." Suspicion laced his tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. We have business. My mum's handling the catering for the reception for the launch. She asked me to drop off some menus for him to look through."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nice cover</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Robert thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll leave you to it then."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did you hit him?" Aaron asked Jonathan before he could make his escape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He deserved it," Jonathan said in defense. "He made it sound like there was something going on between the two of you. I couldn't help it, I'm sorry. I know it was stupid and I shouldn't have done it, but I'm sick and tired of him butting his nose in where it doesn't belong."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I told you, you and I are done. You need to leave it alone, move on. There's nothing left between us." Aaron's patience was already stretched thin. It wasn't bad enough that his flight coming home was delayed two hours, but then he'd had to listen to the wails and cries of a toddler in the seat beside him the entire flight. The only thing that kept him sane was knowing that once he landed Robert would be waiting for him. To finish what they had started before Jonathan had shown up unexpectedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If he hadn't---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This isn't about Robert," Aaron shouted. "For the millionth time, he is not why we broke up. I was never fully invested in us, and that's on me. But you're the one that was jealous, that accused me of cheating on you </span>
  <em>
    <span>all the time</span>
  </em>
  <span>. We're the ones to blame here, not Robert. Now please go before I say something I'm going to regret."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine." Jonathan grabbed the door handle, turned around one last time. "But this isn't over." He cast one more glare in Robert's general direction before throwing his car into reverse spraying gravel and sped away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Jonathan's car was out of sight, Aaron closed the gap between him and Robert, and lifted a finger to Robert's bloody lip. "I'm sorry he hit you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not exactly innocent in all of this, am I?" Robert murmured, leaning into Aaron's touch. "I goated him. I was angry at him for showing up here, blaming me for everything. I know I should have left you alone, I just couldn't. I spent the last few days worrying that I had made a mistake, that you were going to take him back, that you still loved him. I just snapped, I---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron interrupted Robert's ramblings with a kiss. "I'm not getting back together with him. I'm with you, it's where I want to be. It's where I should have been months ago." Aaron lowered his voice, as if afraid of being overheard even though the parking lot was empty except for the two of them. "But let's not talk about him anymore, I want to concentrate on us. We could go back to yours and we could pick up where we left off before we got rudely interrupted."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert grabbed Aaron's hand and pulled him close. "Sounds good to me but first I really want to kiss you." It was brief, intense, bursting of promise. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aaron pulled into the driveway of Robert's flat and cut the engine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got as far as the front door before the nerves set in. Then it hit him what he was about to do. What they were about to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And almost turned back around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were crossing the line from friends to lovers. A line he had sworn he would never cross.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How many times had he sworn to Jonathan that nothing was going on between them, that he had nothing to worry about? Had this always been destined to happen, even if he was still with Jonathan? God, would he have cheated on Jonathan with Robert?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He honestly didn't know and was scared of the answer. He was overthinking things, but his mind wouldn't stop analyzing from every angle all the risks he was taking just by coming here tonight. Fighting back the images he couldn't seem to shake, he took a deep breath and just stared at the stone underneath his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Robert opened the door before he could knock, Robert looked remarkably calm. He had changed from his suit to a pair of jeans and a dark shirt and his eyebrows shot up in concern. "Are you alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron shifted uncomfortably, trying to think of an appropriate response. "Yeah, fine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd begun to realize that the wedding planning had nearly absorbed and devoured every aspect of him the last few months. And the fights, they had exhausted him. He couldn't remember the last time he felt relaxed. But when Robert looked at him, his nerves settled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he stepped inside and when Robert closed the door behind him, he felt nervous again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's going on inside that head of yours?" Robert asked him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron shuffled his feet, ran a hand through his hair, damp from the rain that was still coming down outside. "Sorry, this just feels weird. And complicated. I mean, my life is complicated, and coming here, even though I want to be here, is a little...unsettling."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Unsettling?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, maybe that was the wrong word. Shit sorry, this is just...I don't know how to act."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just act like yourself. You don't have to put on a front with me. If you're nervous, it's completely normal. If I'm honest, I am a little too. This is new territory for both of us."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron followed Robert into the kitchen. "I know, it's just that I just got out of a serious relationship and now I'm about to jump into another one. Not necessarily a serious relationship, but---" He was rambling and he knew it, hated himself for it. When Robert handed him a glass of wine, he took a long swallow. "Please just tell me to shut up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert smiled, the wine glass halfway to his lips. "Shut up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm making this awkward, aren't I?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. It's okay to be nervous, Aaron. I told you, I am too. We don't have to make tonight a big deal. It's just dinner."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right." Aaron drank more wine. "So, what are you making me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Italian. I know how much you like my pasta. I remember that one time I made it for you for your birthday and you had this look on your face like you just had an orgasm." Robert laughed when Aaron spit out wine. "What? It's true. You should have seen your face."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My entire family was in the room that night," Aaron remembered. "You telling me I made that kind of sound in front of everybody?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. Never said anything before because I didn't want to embarrass you." Robert grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you're okay with trying to embarrass me now." He could already feel the red in his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now we're alone. No reason to be embarrassed about it. I thought it was hot." He remembered jumping into a cold shower after everyone had left hoping it would help dowse the fire in his loins. But it hadn't. He watched Aaron over his wine glass, saw his face turn into a scowl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert hoped he made that sound again tonight. This time there would be no one around to stop him from acting on that desire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're enjoying this," Aaron said, still scowling. "I can't believe you never told me that before."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We were just friends then. I was saving that story when I needed leverage against you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But now?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now all I can think about is how it turned me on that night. How I had to have three cold showers just to stop from going over to your place and jumping your bones."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron swallowed thickly. "That was almost six months ago. You telling me you've had a thing for me that long?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've been attracted to you since the moment I met you." No point in denying it anymore, Robert thought. "I swore I would never act on it. I knew you were with Jonathan, then you got engaged so I forced myself to stop thinking about you that way." Aaron looked torn between feeling uncomfortable and wanting to give in to the desire that was becoming more and more evident, and Robert couldn't help but visualize what Aaron looked like under the black hooded sweatshirt and the black pants that hugged his narrow hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't wait to find out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But not tonight. Definitely not tonight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he wasn't going to lie, everything about Aaron made him ache with need. Even the thin scar that cut a jagged edge through the dark stubble lining his jaw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shot of warmth pulsed up Aaron's arm as Robert stepped closer and he could smell the aftershave that was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robert</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Aaron wanted to be mad, but he found himself laughing instead. "I was that blind, was I? That I couldn't see how you felt about me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I tried to keep it hidden, especially when Jonathan was around. But obviously he caught onto it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron felt guilty, and regret tugged at his heart. "I lied to him. I told him so many times there was nothing going on between us. I might never have acted on my feelings while I was with him, but looking back I realize that I was cheating on him. Emotionally. I was never fully there with him, but with you, I just look at you and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel it</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That feeling I should have had with him. I feel terrible." And he couldn't help but feel like this new route their relationship was taking was already tainted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron, you can't help how you feel. And you said it yourself, you never cheated on him. You're not that type of bloke. I know you, why do you think I never acted on it myself? I knew you wouldn't cheat on him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know how to do this. It's not like we can go out in public, not until things settle down. I don't want Jonathan to lose it on you like he did tonight."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We don't have to tell anyone about this. Not until you're ready." He didn't like it, but he understood where Aaron was coming from, and the ramifications they would both face when the truth came out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just think if we tell people now it's just going to look like I was cheating on Jonathan all along. That's how it's going to look to not just Jonathan, but my family."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And I don't want to give your family a reason to hate me. They're just starting to warm up to me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So we take this slow then? One day at a time?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your pace. Aaron, I'm not going anywhere. This, what I feel when I'm with you, hasn't gone away. Taking things slow, hiding our relationship from the rest of the world, isn't going to change that. I promise you." He didn't want their relationship, or whatever this was, to stay a secret for too long. It was a strange feeling, but he wanted to be able to take Aaron out on a real date, and not have to hide. "But we're alone now, nobody else is here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Aaron said slowly. With his eyes on Robert, he closed the distance between them. Took the wine glass from his hand, set it on the table. "What you got in mind?" Pulse thrumming, Aaron started to slide his hands up Robert's chest, but Robert caught them in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This." Robert lowered his head, and his mouth began to whisper, only to be interrupted by Aaron's cell phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh for fuck's sakes," Aaron muttered under his breath and stepped back. "What is it?" he growled into the phone. "What? You need me there now? Yeah, yeah, you're family." He sighed. "Fine, I'll be there in ten." He cursed as he stuck his phone back in his pocket. "Robert." He looked over at him, regret in his eyes. "I have to go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert sighed. "I heard. Work?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. Paddy broke down, needs me to come out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No one else can do it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My other mechanic is away on holiday until Monday."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should have just told him you were in the middle of something."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh yeah, like what? Sorry Paddy I can't come to fix your car that's broken down because I'm in the middle of kissing Robert's face off? Yeah, that'll go over well."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Him and your mum really like Jonathan."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, unfortunately. They're both still pretty upset about the broken engagement."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If anyone should be, it's you not them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's it though, isn't it? I'm not broken up about it. I don't really feel anything other than regret for hurting him. I led him on, let him believe we had a future."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were still working out how you felt."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I shouldn't have accepted his marriage proposal. I shouldn't have let things get so far."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"At least you didn't wait until you walked down the aisle."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I guess." Aaron let out a long, drawn-out sigh. “I’m sorry about what happened before. With Jonathan I mean. I had no idea he was going to just drop by your office like that. If I had known---“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaron, it’s fine. It’s not your fault. Besides, I knew eventually him and I would have it out. He’s not dumb and he’s not blind. When he showed up at the cottage it was obvious that he knew something was going on between us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you walked away that day saying you had to come back here for work I seriously thought you were looking for an out, that Jonathan just showing up scared you off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you heard me tell him that I wasn’t sure what I wanted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but I knew you were just saying that for his benefit. I know what I felt when we kissed. I didn’t imagine it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you didn’t.” And Aaron had felt it too. He could still feel it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew you needed time to sort through your feelings with him. I didn’t want us to get too involved until you had a chance to sort everything out with him. I didn’t want things to progress with us until you and him were officially over. I know you said you were but I saw the way you looked at him when he showed up. There was still a lot of stuff the two of you needed to work through. But that’s not the only reason I left. There have been a few hiccups with my marketing department that needed my attention. I needed to come back anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It all worked out for the best then. I got to get everything off my chest with Jonathan and you put out fires here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah and finally, finally I’m at a place where I’m not stressing out every five minutes that something’s going to go wrong and this whole reception is going to be a disaster.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you get a chance to look over the menus my mum sent over?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I skimmed through them and called her a few hours ago. We’re going to meet up tomorrow to finalize everything. Vic’s got a few changes she wants to make.” Robert sighed. “I’m more worried about Jonathan. I know he’s just upset about what went on between the two of you, but damn that guy has a mean streak in him and can pack a punch.” He touched a finger to his lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope you weren’t buying any of that shit he was spewing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not. He just wants somebody to blame. Maybe all of us played a part. I know I wasn’t exactly innocent in all of this. I never crossed the line, well not until you had actually broken up but I know me being around all the time wasn't easy for him. I mean, look at me.” Robert grinned. “He had every right to be jealous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and your ego,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You love it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Aaron said seriously. “And I wish I didn't have to go, but duty calls."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, go. I'll keep the pasta warm. Just let me know if you can't make it back."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll call you when I'm done." Aaron reached for his jacket on the back of the couch. "I'll see you in a bit, yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Before you go," Robert started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron turned around. "Yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert braced his hands on either side of Aaron's head, bent down and nuzzled Aaron's neck before he sucked Aaron's bottom lip into his mouth. When he pulled away, he grinned. "Just something for you to keep in mind while you're at work."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron was finding it hard to catch his breath. "You're just trying to get me to stay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert shrugged his shoulders innocently. "I don't know what you mean. But go before I change my mind and give you a really good reason to stay."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aaron pulled his truck in behind Paddy's broken down green piece of junk car that Aaron had, on a number of occasions, tried to convince Paddy to scrap and just buy a brand new car that didn't look like it came out of the 1970s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paddy always refused, insisting the car still had a good few years left before he would have to junk it. And he refused to waste his money on a new car. Call him a sentimental fool, but he loved his car and treated it just like it was one of his patients.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron got out of his truck, grabbed his tools from the back, and approached Paddy's car that now had black smoke coming from the tailpipe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry to call you out this way so late," Paddy said, rolling his window down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's wrong with it this time?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not sure." Paddy didn't know anything about cars. "I was driving back after an emergency call. Ms. Livky's cat. She's eighty and barely has any eyesight left. I wasn't going to make her drive all the way out to my office so I offered to drive out to her."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron rolled his eyes impatiently. "That doesn't answer my question, Paddy. What's wrong with the car? From the looks of it, it's about to blow up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No way," Paddy said. "It was fine earlier. It only started making this funny noise yesterday."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Funny noise?" Aaron already knew this was a lost cause, but would investigate anyway just to appease Paddy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paddy stepped out of the car and cursed when he saw the smoke. "This isn't going to be an easy fix, is it?" Then he heard the bang and jumped back, startled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron crawled under Paddy's old car. After a few minutes of the loud banging of tools, he found the problem. "Your converter needs to be replaced. It'll just be cheaper to replace the whole damn car, Paddy," Aaron said, sitting up and using a cloth to wipe the oil and dirt off his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want a new car," Paddy said, frowning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't keep driving around this old ratty piece of junk, Paddy. This type of thing will just keep happening no matter how many parts you replace. It's not worth the hassle."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paddy grabbed his hat that was lodged between his seat and the door and put it on his balding head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on," Aaron said, trying to keep his tone upbeat. "Won't it be nice to have a brand new car instead of this piece of junk?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paddy frowned. "It's not a piece of junk. I've had this little lady for ten years."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And she's lived a happy life, but it's time to junk her and replace her with a newer model."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like what?" Paddy scrunched his face. "Like one of those fancy models, Robert drives around in? I swear that car of his cost more than his flat."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the mention of Robert's name, Aaron smirked. "He's allowed to own a fancy car like that, it's not like he's poor. And it works for his job."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paddy snorted. "Him buying that car has nothing to do with his job, but his ego. To impress all those pretty girls he sleeps with."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Paddy!" Aaron wiped the sweat from his brow and tried to hold onto the little bit of self-control he had left. "That's not fair. What Robert spends his money on and who he sleeps with is nobody's business."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I know you like him. God knows why. The two of you are complete opposites." Paddy looked around the dark, deserted road. "Do you think he would help me pick something out? He seems to be an expert on cars." </span>
  <em>
    <span>And women, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought but didn't say it out loud. He liked Robert, and he was a good friend to Aaron and was tolerable most of the time. Paddy just thought he had too big of an ego and spent too much of his time chasing his next big score. But, he had to admit, he worked hard and was always there when his friends needed him. He was reliable, confident, and just a little bit conceited. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can ask him. But Paddy, you have to stop being such a jerk around him. He's not half bad, you know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know, I'm sorry. It's just strange, you know. The two of you hang out all the time. I know it bothered Jonathan." Jonathan wasn't the only one that had suspicions about Robert's ulterior motives when it came to Aaron. "I've seen him, by the way," Paddy continued. "Jonathan," he said when Aaron gave him a blank look. "He said he had a run-in with Robert. Felt really bad about it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He showed up at Robert's office and accused Robert of all sorts of things. I know he was just blowing off steam because he's upset about us breaking up, but Robert had nothing to do with any of that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So there's no chance of you and him working things out?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron shook his head. "No. I made my decision. I spent months trying to end it, but I kept putting it off because I didn't want to hurt him. And maybe there was a part of me that wasn't sure it was the right decision, but when he came up to the cottage and we talked, I realized it was over, that it had been for a long time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paddy laid a comforting hand on Aaron's shoulder. "It's your decision, and you know your mum and I will support you no matter what. We're just worried about you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine. I'm at peace with my decision. Look, I know you practically worship Jonathan. Part of why I hung on so long, I didn't want to disappoint you, but I can't live my life for other people. I need to start living for myself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can't fault you for that," Paddy murmured. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't having any regrets. If you were, you know Jonathan would take you back."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want him back," Aaron said sharply. "I'm happy the way things are now, but he's not getting the message. I don't know what else I can say to convince him we're done. It's like he can't let go. It's not my job to help him, especially when he's threatening my friends."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sure he didn't mean whatever it is he said to Robert. But you have to admit, from Jonathan's perspective, it does look suspicious that you and Robert are so close. He told me Robert was at the cottage."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what?" Aaron snapped. "He's my friend. He was making sure I was alright. He heard I called off the wedding and I wasn't answering his phone calls or messages so he came out to see me. It's no big deal."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But to Jonathan, it was a big deal. The two of you were practically living together, and in two weeks you were supposed to be getting married. You can't blame the guy for feeling the way that he does."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you trying to justify what he said to Robert? What about punching him? Or did Jonathan not tell you about that?" At Paddy's stunned expression, Aaron nodded. "Didn't think so. Why don't you ask him about that the next time you see him since the two of you seem to be best buddies."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sure he didn't mean---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert did nothing to deserve getting punched in the face. If anybody deserved it, it was me. I'm the one that ended things, I'm the one responsible for leading him on when deep down I knew we were never right."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is there somebody else? I mean," Paddy stammered. "Is it because you're interested in somebody else that made you end things? The two of you looked so happy. You were just out with him finalizing your wedding suits. What changed?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't cheating on him if that's what you're insinuating." And if Aaron was honest he was hurt by the accusation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't," Paddy said quickly. "I just meant to ask if there was somebody else that you were interested in that may be contributed to your decision, that's all. I know you wouldn't have cheated on him. You would have broken your own arm first."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron was composed, but on the inside, he was seething. He was tired of talking about Jonathan, their broken engagement, and anything that involved their failed wedding. "I just know how I feel," he said instead. "I knew I wasn't in love with him. I knew that standing up there in front of all of our friends and family, I couldn't make those promises to him. It would have been a lie. I had to stop lying to myself. I was unhappy. Every time I looked at him, I just couldn't see the future I wanted. I didn't handle it the best way I know that, but that's on me, no one else. So please stop asking me if there's someone else or to try and explain why I ended it when I did. I don't have those answers for you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay, I won't bring it up again," Paddy agreed. "So about this car. I'm going to need a lift home."</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Aaron's mood shifted from mild irritation to hostility the closer they got to the pub. He'd remained silent most of the drive, and Paddy knew he was the reason for Aaron's brooding and the irritated scowl now fixed on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't mean to upset you mate," Paddy said as Aaron pulled up in front of the pub. The streets were dark and empty, slick from the rain. A streetlamp spread a small pool of light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His face was stone cold, devoid of any emotion though inside he was fuming. "It's fine. Can we just drop it? I told you I don't want to talk about Jonathan or the millions of other things I've screwed up in my life. Just leave me alone to fix my own life, yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was trying to make sure you were alright, honestly," Paddy said as he opened the door. "I wasn't trying to say you had screwed anything up. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were sticking up for Jonathan, because you think I made a mistake."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just think you should think about it some more, that's all. I think you're just upset and you made an irrational decision without thinking it all the way through. That's all I'm saying. Think about it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron sped down the road, frustrated and pissed off at the direction the night had taken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't even bother to knock when he got back to Robert's flat. Robert had left the door unlocked so he walked right in, slamming the door behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert was on the couch with a glass of wine. He barely had time to set his glass down before Aaron was on him, his kiss possessive, trying to pull Robert's shirt over his head. He just wanted to forget everything else that had happened tonight and just concentrate on the man in front of him. Every muscle on Robert was defined, and his fingers itched to trace over every inch of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Clothes," Aaron growled. "You've got too many clothes on." He looked up through passion glazed eyes to find Robert staring at him, licking his lips. Something dark flashed in his eyes. He dug his fingers into Robert's hair. "I need you," he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their eyes locked, and Robert pushed him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened?" Robert asked, concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frustrated that Robert was putting distance between them, Aaron ran a hand through his hair. "Just sick of people asking me if I'm sure I made the right decision. All people do is tell me how they think I should feel and what I should do. That I'm just nervous, that these feelings will pass, that I'm going to regret breaking up with Jonathan. I'm just so tired of it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know you won't hear any of that from me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, I know. That's why I came back here. I thought about just going home, but I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to be here, with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Paddy said something to you then. That's why you're so upset right now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want to talk about it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You came in here all worked up after he called you to come take a look at his car. I know he said something, so spit it out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can we talk about it later? I'm tired of talking, and thinking."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're mad."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He pissed me off. It's like he's taking Jonathan's side. Thinks Jonathan is so great and that I'm making a huge mistake."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you think you are?" Robert thought he knew the answer, but he couldn't stop himself from asking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Aaron said firmly. "I want you. I love you. I want to be with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think you being here right now is a good idea."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want to go home," Aaron said firmly, then it hit him. He had to be honest. "Talking to Paddy, it made me realize that everything I've been doing has been to please everybody else. I don't think I ever really loved him. And that makes it worse somehow. I was with him not because I wanted to be but because I thought it was what everyone else wanted for me. The person I wanted was out of reach, or so I thought, so I stayed with him because I knew I would just end up disappointing everyone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron, you don't have to tell me all of this. I can tell that whatever Paddy said upset you. We don't have to talk about this now." It was foolish for him to care what Paddy thought about him, but Paddy was an important part of Aaron's life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, I want you to know." Aaron grabbed his hand before Robert could walk away from him. "I've always wanted you. In the back of my mind, it was always you, but I ran away because I was scared. And knowing other people saw it too, the fact that I was always spending more time with you than with my own fiance, it should have been a clue but I couldn't see it. Maybe I didn't want to."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron," Robert warned him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," Aaron said quietly. "I'm sorry I denied us for so long."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It wasn't the right time. There's nothing for you to be sorry for. I never told you how I felt, either. It doesn't matter now. Why are you beating yourself up about it now?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because I have a feeling Jonathan isn't going to make this easy for us. I don't know when we're going to be able to go out in public together. After what he pulled tonight, and the way he has my family wrapped around his finger---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It doesn't matter. If we have to wait, we wait. I told you, I'm not going anywhere. I can be patient. I think right now though you should go home. Don't want anybody to start getting the wrong idea."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rob---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't." When Aaron reached for him, Robert retreated. "If you touch me now, I won't be able to stop myself from taking you right here on the couch."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron wanted to say something, anything to make this moment not hurt so much, but Robert was already holding the front door open. "I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We can't risk that, not now. And I have to be up early for work."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert was backtracking, Aaron realized in a panic. Maybe he would wake up tomorrow and change his mind. It scared Aaron how much the thought of losing Robert for good terrified him. Being here soothed him like nothing else could. He didn't want to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert stood against the door jam, saying nothing, watching Aaron put his jacket back on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry about tonight," Aaron said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me too," Robert said. He wrapped his arms around Aaron's neck, pulling him down for a kiss. "It's just one night. I know we both wanted it to be perfect, but fate had other plans. This doesn't change anything, not for me anyway. I don't care if there are a million other guys out there that want you or if your family is giving you a hard time about Jonathan and making it hard for us to move forward. I'm not going to go out looking for somebody else because you're the only one I want. I don't want you to worry about that. Tonight doesn't change how I feel about you or what I want in the future."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Robert confirmed. "And I'm not telling you to leave because I want you to. If people were suspicious about us before, you spending the night here is just going to add fuel to the fire, and that's the last thing either of us needs right now. We need to give it some time. I don't want everybody thinking that we were sleeping together this whole time. I do have a reputation to protect." He tried to invoke some humor, but it fell flat. "Until Jonathan calms down, we keep our distance, act normal. Just two friends who care about each other. We can still hang out, but the two of us here alone? It's not a good idea."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For how long?" It pained Aaron having to keep their relationship a secret, even for a short period of time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It won't be forever," Robert promised him. "But I really don't want to be on the other end of his fist again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is so stupid," Aaron said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, but just think what it's going to be like when we can finally go public. I won't be able to keep my hands off of you." Robert grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that a promise?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh yeah," Robert said, and to prove his point ran his hands under Aaron's shirt. "Now go before I change my mind. I'll call you tomorrow."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine, but I don't like this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Neither do I," Robert murmured as he watched Aaron leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fumbling in his pocket for his car keys, Aaron felt the rain start to pour down. And cursed. "Fucking hell," he muttered as he got into his car and drove home. He had planned to spend the night at Robert's, to wake up in Robert's arms, but now as he stripped and crawled into his own bed, alone, he wondered if they were doomed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were just so many obstacles standing in the way of this working.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan, his family, his own stubbornness. Robert's pride.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Where the hell did they go from here?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Robert didn't have much time to think about what was going on between him and Aaron the next few days as he had to work sixteen-hour days just to get everything ready for the big event for the winery. He spent most of his mornings at the office sorting through the mountain of paperwork that needed his attention and going through the day's schedule with his assistant. After lunch the rest of the day he was up at the estate helping organize and hauling in crates of wine and cheese and making sure everything was running smoothly. Tomorrow night's reception could lead to expanding the winery and pulling in a killer profit next quarter which the business desperately needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had to be perfect. He had to go big or go home, and he wasn't ready to give up, not on something that he had worked his butt off to achieve, a company that he had worked tirelessly to turn into a success.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he unloaded crates of wine from the back of the truck parked on the gravel in front of the home to Sugden Winery and carried them one by one inside the massive estate, Robert's mind was too preoccupied to think about Aaron. But the buzz of his phone in the pocket of his jacket reminded him that he'd been dodging his calls and text messages all morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't know what to say. He spent the last few nights going over and over in his mind where exactly their relationship stood, and where they went from here. He honestly had no clue. All he knew was he loved Aaron and wanted to make their relationship work, but there was too much on his plate right now to make any decision. But he couldn't keep ignoring Aaron and he couldn't keep hiding behind his job just to avoid the hard conversations that he knew they needed to have.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hit ignore on his phone, tried not to feel a pang of guilt for the two missed calls from Aaron that he still hadn't returned, and stuck it in back in his pocket. He didn't want to fall back into his same old pattern; when things got complicated, he tended to run and break things off. He knew he couldn't do that this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron was different. But he still couldn't help but wonder if this was all worth it. It wasn't going to be easy for them to be together, there was just so much standing in their way to make a real go at it. But he knew he wanted to try.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He brushed thoughts of Aaron aside; he couldn't think about it now. He had a company to run, a reception to finish getting ready for, and he had to be at the pub in half an hour to finalize the menu with Chas and Victoria.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he got back in his car and drove towards the pub, he was filled with nervous energy. He wondered if Aaron's mum had any idea that the man she was doing business with was in love with her son and could potentially hurt him.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Aaron woke up with a pounding headache, a reminder of what he had done the night before.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh yeah, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought with a groan as he rolled over, a few images going from blurry to clear in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd gotten drunk. Like really, really drunk. And with his ex-fiance of all people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron groaned into his pillow as everything suddenly came back to him. Jonathan openly flirting with him, whispering in his ear that he still wanted Aaron and all the things he wanted to do to him in the hotel room he'd booked for just the two of them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just one night</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jonathan had said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Like old times, you know just so we can be sure the spark is really gone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the kiss. Jonathan had tried to kiss him right there at the bar, a cold beer in one hand, the other wrapped around the back of Aaron's neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat up and leaned his head against the headboard, closing his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please tell me I didn't do something stupid.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he remembered the rest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron had pushed Jonathan away. He hadn't kissed him back, he hadn't cheated on Robert. He didn't take Jonathan up on his offer, no he'd done the right thing. He had downed the rest of his beer and left the bar, angry at Jonathan for coming onto him when he'd been clear that they were over, angry at himself for letting himself believe they could be friends after their rocky past. Jonathan had tried to catch up to him, but Aaron had already gotten into his car and driven away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had tried to call Robert when he got back to his flat, he remembered now. But it had been past midnight by the time he got home and Robert was more than likely already asleep. It had gone straight to his voicemail. Aaron had hung up, not bothering to leave a message. He had thrown his phone across the room and drunk himself into a stupor. The five empty bottles of beer on the nightstand was a reminder of why his head was pounding and why he felt so nauseated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fully supported Robert's career just like Robert did his, but it was hard leaving things the way they were when he was so unsure where they stood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How hard was it to take a few seconds and return one text? Even if just to say, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, I got your message. Can I call you later?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't fucking hard at all, Aaron thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Were they still in the middle of crossing that line from friends to lovers, or had they crossed it already? Were they on the verge of whatever was between them ending when it had barely even begun? Robert was being standoffish, leaving Aaron to question where they went from here. He understood Robert was under a lot of pressure with his career, he wasn't stupid or selfish, and he was trying to be patient, but the way Robert affected him scared the hell out of him. It had never been like this with anyone before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't help that the situation with Jonathan was still a tangled mess, and Aaron could understand why Robert was so hesitant about them being out together in public, but everyone knew they were friends. It wasn't unusual for the two of them to talk to each other on the phone. And there was nothing suspicious about them hanging out together at the pub having a pint or playing darts. But Robert had insisted he was "too busy" to meet up the night before and today he wasn't responding to Aaron's phone calls or messages at all, and now Aaron was questioning if he'd misread Robert completely. Maybe he was just another fling. Robert was known to have them; Aaron just never thought that's he would end up becoming one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn't been thinking clearly, Aaron thought as he rubbed his hands over his face. No, instead of being patient and understanding, he'd gone and met his ex and gotten drunk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he'd made the decision to drive to Hotten, Aaron knew Robert was most likely still over at the pub with his mum and Victoria. They had both agreed that they couldn't go public yet, not with his broken engagement so fresh in everybody's minds. It would just look like they had been having an affair the whole time, and neither of them wanted to experience the wrath that would bring. No matter how many times they denied it, no one would buy it. So for now they would keep their relationship a secret.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So they would ride the wave, stay private, for the time being. And Aaron knew Robert was under a lot of pressure with his career. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There had been no harm in meeting up with Jonathan for a drink or two, at least that's what he had tried to tell himself. How was he to know what would happen?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has driven to the bar, telling himself repeatedly that he wasn't doing anything wrong. It was just a drink, nothing more.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But he's your ex</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron had shaken that warning off and kept driving, but he should have known better. It was never a good idea to have a drink with your ex. It never ended well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had felt guilty the moment he had stepped inside the bar. It was loud, dark, and smelled of booze and sweat. Jonathan was already there and he had already bought the first round. One drink had turned into three and Aaron could feel himself loosening up. But then Jonathan had whispered those words into his ear and Aaron had sobered up instantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned up some music - anything to drown out the guilt and shame - and got dressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was cloudy as he stepped outside. It was starting to rain so he pulled his hood up and walked in the direction of the cafe. He needed caffeine after the night he'd had. He shouldn't have gone, he knew that. The bar, the booze, the ex. None of it. He felt like a piece of shit. He knew how it would end; either back in Jonathan's bed or back at home drinking himself stupid. It was just supposed to be an escape; a way to forget that the man that he wanted couldn't be his, not right now and who knew when he could be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's world went black again when he spotted Jonathan at the cafe, carrying two mugs of hot coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was hoping you would show up," Jonathan said, sitting down at an empty table outside of the cafe. "Peace offering."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan with his perfectly uncomplicated and organized life, a well-respected doctor at the top of his field with a perfectly organized office and a posh penthouse suite. Why hadn't that been enough for him to want to stay, to try to make things work?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone just thought he was just going through a phase, Aaron mused. If they only knew what was really going on inside his head, his heart, they would lose their shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The choice hadn't been an easy one, but it had been the right one. And after last night, he had no regrets. He didn't even consider kissing Jonathan back or going back to that hotel room. All he could think about was Robert, and how he had wished Robert had been there instead. He would have, without question, kissed him back and gone back to a hotel room and gladly let Robert do the things to him Jonathan had whispered into his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron debated, but in the end, he had a desperate need for caffeine and he knew they needed to iron out what happened last night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stretched out his legs, his black baseball hat shielding his eyes from the sun, and took the cup Jonathan offered. "Thanks."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm surprised you're even talking to me after what happened last night."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Last night was a bad idea," Aaron said. "I never should have gone to that bar with you. I went there knowing exactly what you wanted, but I still came. That's on me. But you shouldn't have come on to me like that. I meant what I said, and I'm sorry it hurts but I don't feel that way about you anymore."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know." Jonathan sighed and drank more coffee. "I felt really bad about it. I didn't plan on it, believe me. I just wanted us to hang out, but then you walked in looking so fucking gorgeous. I still wanted you, and I hoped you still wanted me too."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, but I don't. We can't let anything like that happen again. I want us to stay friends, but we can't if this keeps happening."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It won't," Jonathan said hesitantly. "I saw it in your eyes last night. The love that used to be there, it's not there anymore. I have to stop torturing myself thinking things are going to change."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you're really okay with us just being friends? If it's not enough for you, you need to tell me now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't like it, but I can accept it. I just don't want to lose you. I still want you in my life."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened last night can't happen again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone that can love you and appreciate you for everything you are. You're a great guy, you're just not the guy for me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who is then?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You two look cozy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan only lifted an eyebrow when he spotted Robert coming out of the cafe, a paper cup halfway to his lips. It didn't escape his notice that Aaron was avoiding looking at Robert; instead, he was picking at a coffee stain on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just having coffee," Jonathan said. "Care to join us?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, thanks. I have to be getting back," Robert said, his face slowly breaking out into a frown. His hair curled over the collar of his light blue dress shirt. He'd rolled the sleeves up, and the well-toned muscles of his arms rippled. He saw explosions of emotions on Aaron's face; sadness, anger, frustration. And knew immediately something had happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron, can we talk for a minute? It's about tonight," he clarified, not wanting to rise any suspicions with Jonathan around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, okay." Absently, Aaron stood up, now not a flicker of emotion on his face. "Thanks for the coffee," he said to Jonathan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anytime," Jonathan said, but he was disappointed that their time together was ending so fast. He looked over at Robert. "I'm sorry about what happened the other night."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't worry about it," Robert said. "It's not the first time I've been punched, and I'm sure it won't be the last."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not what it looks like," Aaron said when they were far enough away that no one could hear them. He wanted to tell Robert about last night, he didn't want them to have any secrets from each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't say anything," Robert said. "Though I have to say the last thing I expected to see coming out of the cafe was you sitting there with your ex-fiance."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're not jealous, are you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, of course not. I trust you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's heart pounded in his chest. "I have to tell you something."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert looked worried. "Okay," he said slowly. "What is it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I went out with him last night." Silence. "He invited me out for a drink, so I went. I knew you were busy and I didn't see the harm. But then I got there and he tried to kiss me, but I pushed him away and ran out of there."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A flash of emotion spread over Robert's face as what Aaron said registered. "He tried to kiss you. So you didn't kiss him back?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God no! I promise nothing happened, but I wanted to be honest with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were mad at me yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call you, the whole day was just frantic, trying to get everything ready for tonight. I wasn't trying to ignore you, ignore us."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron shrugged, stuffed his hands in the pocket of his jeans. "It's fine. It's not like I'm your keeper."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right. We're okay then?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, we're fine." But his face said they were anything but fine. "You're not mad about last night?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You said you walked away, and I believe you. I believe nothing happened. But I have to ask why were you having coffee with him if he tried to get it back on with you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was apologizing for what happened. I figured after everything I put him through with breaking off our engagement I owed it to him at least hear him out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And?" Robert prompted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He promised it won't happen again, and I believe him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert grabbed his arm. He had the absurd urge to grab Aaron by the shoulders and kiss him until they were both breathless, show Jonathan and everyone else in the damn village that Aaron was his now. "I trust you. Do I like that your ex came onto you? No. Do I like that I had to leave you alone last night? No. But I trust you, and I don't want anything spoiling what we have."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's lips formed the barest hint of a smile. He wanted to feel them against his own - to watch Aaron's face as their mouths met and see the love reflected in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you staring at me like that?" Aaron said, stepping back, trying to act casual, unaffected by Robert's gaze. "Seriously, Rob. Stop looking at me like that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just have to ask. Are you having second thoughts about us?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Aaron said honestly. "I just miss you, that's all. I know your career is important to you and I've tried to give you space because I know how important tonight is to you. I know I shouldn't have let it bother me that you wouldn't return my calls, I shouldn't have taken it so personally. This is all new to me. Caring about someone like I do you, wanting you this much, it's scary."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know how I feel about you, and I feel like I know how you feel about me. But if you're having second thoughts, if you've changed your mind and you don't want me anymore, as much as it would hurt, I want you to be happy. I won't stand in your way if you want to go back to him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't want anybody else, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself he did. He wanted Robert with all of his faults and vanity. Why did nobody else come close to the complicated man standing in front of him, in his expensive suit and professionally styled blonde hair that had his heart racing? "What is it about you?" Aaron murmured, looking up into Robert's eyes. "That makes me want nobody else? I don't want anybody else, I just want you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And I just want you." He thought of nothing but getting Aaron alone all morning. He glanced at his Rolex. "I've got a few minutes before I have to head back to the estate to start setting up for tonight. Why don't I meet you at the garage."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron raised an eyebrow. "What for?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because," Robert said huskily, "I really want to kiss you and I don't want anyone else to be around when I do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay," Aaron said quietly. "Hard to pass up my one chance to be alone with you. I'll meet you there in five."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aaron watched Robert work the room in an expensive, tailored grey suit. Aaron didn't get the appeal of dressing up, he thought it was pretentious, but he wore one tonight because he knew the effect it would have. He would never admit it, but he spent a few hours picking out the navy blue jacket and slacks with a crisp white shirt and red tie because he knew Robert would appreciate it, and he had plans for Robert to peel him out of it, inch by inch, later after the party had died down and they were alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd arrived late on purpose, wanting Robert to get a good look at him as he walked in the crowded room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's mouth had dropped, but he had covered it quickly, winking at him before turning his attention back to the small crowd he had gathered in the middle of the room. He was passing around glasses of wine and describing the pure notes of blackberry and cherry and the other aroma of flavors he had added to create the red wine that was the newest addition to Sugden Winery's collection of fruit-driven flavored wines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where have you been?" Chas said, approaching him, a glass of wine already in her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Got stuck in traffic," Aaron said, because it was an excuse that made perfectly logical sense with all the cars parked out front. He spotted Robert in the crowd again, now talking to a young blond who was making it more than a bit obvious that she was interested in him for more than his knowledge about wine. Her arm was slung through his and her bright red lips were curved into a flirtatious smile. Jealousy rippled through him as he grabbed a glass of wine from a passing waiter and took a long swallow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even with Robert across the room, with several people between them, Aaron could feel the shock of electricity that was waking up every nerve in his body, sending them screaming. He drank more wine, hoping it would help slam the desire down, determined not to let it become too obvious he was staring. "Looks like the whole village made it out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert's good at drawing a crowd," Chas said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron nodded absently, his mind somewhere else. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robert's good at a lot of things, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lust spiraled through Aaron when he realized Robert was looking over at him. His eyes were flashing, a wicked smile at the corner of his lips. Trying to feign disinterest, Aaron looked away before he did anything reckless and turned back to Chas. "The food isn't bad either," he said, grabbing a piece of cheese from her plate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that a compliment?" Chas said, smiling at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I never said you were a bad cook," Aaron said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, but it's nice to hear you say something nice about it once in a while."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron snatched another piece of cheese, stuffed it in his mouth. "It's delicious. Happy now?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blond, in a silver dress that barely covered her and left nothing to the imagination, was still by Robert's side, laughing and snuggling closer to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you staring at?" Chas asked when she realized her son's attention had adverted to something on the other side of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That girl over there with Rob."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She works for the advertising firm," Chas said, recognizing her. "She's been trying to get him to sign a contract with her firm. Been trying to catch his eye since she got here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Looks like she's succeeding," Aaron muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I mean she's definitely using her charm and body to their full advantage. And you know Rob, he's not new to this sort of thing. In fact, I bet he thrives on it. If it gets him more advertising for his company, not to mention a pretty woman on his arm and maybe in his bed, I doubt he'd turn that opportunity away."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe you just said that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? If she's got it, why not flaunt it? It's not like he's with anybody at the moment. That fling with Alyssa has been over for weeks."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's gaze lingered on the way the blond was now rubbing Robert's back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the fuck is she doing? He's mine. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He could feel his possessive side taking over, and he wasn't sure he liked it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chas frowned. "Are you alright, love? You seem aggravated. Did you and Rob have an argument?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Aaron said. "I just don't think it's necessary to use your body to try and get what you want."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert doesn't seem to mind too much," Chas observed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, he certainly doesn't, Aaron thought with a scowl. He finished the rest of his wine, then grabbed another. He just had to ignore the way this woman was touching </span>
  <em>
    <span>his boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he couldn't let it get to him. It didn't matter, he told himself. This woman wasn't a threat to him. But then he heard Robert' throaty laugh, and he wanted to go over there and kiss the idiot senseless, but he tampered down on the urge. He knew it was stupid, that there was no reason for him to be jealous. Robert always attracted women, it wasn't something new and it wasn't something Robert ever tried to hide. Men and women were just magically drawn to him. But he wanted to be the one on Robert's arm, laughing at his stupid jokes, supporting him, telling him how great he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because he was fucking amazing. Why had it taken so long for him to see that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron bit his lip. "I think I need some air," he said and walked towards the foyer, where a couple of party guests were putting on their coats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one would miss him if he snuck out for a few minutes. He needed some fresh air to release some of this nervous energy that was turning him into a version of himself he didn't particularly like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron!" He could hear Robert calling him, but he didn't stop. "Aaron, wait."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Robert caught up to him, he was alone. The blonde was nowhere in sight. "Where's your girlfriend?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My what?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The blonde" Aaron clarified.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, her." Robert waved his hand. "She was just trying to get me to sign with her company."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron raised an eyebrow. "And did you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert grinned. "No. I think she was just after my body."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron rolled his eyes. "Obviously."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She left after I told her I wasn't interested, that I was seeing someone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You told her that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I couldn't tell her that my boyfriend was across the room throwing imaginary darts at her, but I wanted her to know I was spoken for."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You saw that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert felt a rush of victory. "Never thought I'd see the day you would be jealous. And of a woman no less."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I am not jealous," Aaron lied. "You think too much of yourself. You and your ego."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't lie, Aaron. I saw you," Robert said with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron relented and crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine, I was jealous. But just a little bit. I don't like other people touching you </span>
  <em>
    <span>like that</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like what?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Like they want to devour you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert hadn't really noticed, and didn't really care. And he didn't want to talk about her anymore. "I have a few minutes before I have to make my speech," Robert said. "You want to get out here?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aren't you needed here? This is your big night. I don't want to steal you away."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've just spent the past three hours greeting guests and sweet-talking potential investors. I think I'm owed a few minutes of solitude. And there's a really fit man standing in front of me in a really sex suit. But I think he knew that when he put it on."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's eyes met Robert's. A challenge. A dare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get out of here,” Aaron murmured, holding Robert’s gaze. Not waiting another second, Aaron grabbed his hand and pulled Robert through the crowd. Aaron dragged him out the front door of the estate and around the corner onto a quiet stretch of land where no one was around, save the drops of rain spiraling to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” Robert said, breathless, trying to keep up. Then it hit him. They were alone. Finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron spun him around and backed Robert up against the wall. He drew Robert closer, his hands on Robert's hips. Robert slipped his hands around Aaron's waist, drawing them closer. It was all it took for the heat to burn. Robert longed to use his hands exploring every inch of Aaron - and his mouth following in their wake. Kissing, teasing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's grip tightened, and he swore Robert breathed a little quicker. Robert shifted, and then Aaron's fingers grazed the narrow band of bare skin, just above the waistband of Robert's pants. Robert stilled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Damn it, Robert thought, he was going to explode if Aaron didn't kiss him soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re driving me crazy,” Aaron whispered, planting his hands on either side of Robert’s head. He swallowed, suddenly nervous. “Do you even realize what you’ve been doing to me all night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert inhaled, unable to concentrate on anything but Aaron’s lips as they moved. Robert’s own parted in anticipation, his eyes drifting shut, and his body seemed to melt against Aaron’s. Everything inside of him was screaming for Aaron to kiss him, but Aaron held back. He needed more this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can’t do this here,” Robert murmured, though he knew he was powerless to stop this. He didn’t want to stop it. “Someone could see us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that really what you want?” Aaron asked him, slowly tracing the edge of Robert’s jaw with his fingers. “For me to stop?’</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Robert’s mind screamed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t ever stop</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He leaned in closer until he felt Aaron’s lips grazing his earlobe. When Aaron bit down softly, Robert let out a breathy moan. If anybody walked by, how the hell would they explain this? It was pretty obvious what they were doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what you want,” Aaron said. “Whatever it is, it’s yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert shut his eyes, let out a long breath. His voice came out faint as the rain continued to pour down around them. “Kiss me.” It sounded desperate, but he didn’t care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron’s eyes flashed dark with lust and need before he kissed Robert, long and deep, demanding everything Robert had to give – and more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's body was a live wire, already wound tight from Aaron’s slow, teasing touch last night in the garage. Robert reached up and locked his arms around Aaron’s neck, pressing closer as Aaron’s mouth worked its wicked magic, tongue sliding deep between his lips in a heady, intoxicating dance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert savored every taste. Aaron’s mouth burned hot, his body pressing his into the wall with no room to breathe, no space to do anything but surrender to the feeling of being taken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like he was falling. Flying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert melted into Aaron, his head spinning, not caring that they were just steps away from everyone in the village, and how at any minute someone could catch them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could just imagine the gossip. But he didn’t care. All he wanted was Aaron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron’s hands were cupping his face, but soon he was demanding more. They roamed down over Robert’s back and hips, bringing his body even closer, molded to him. Robert couldn’t resist exploring Aaron; sliding his hands under Aaron’s jacket, up across his chest, feeling the taut muscles he’d only gotten a small glimpse of a few nights ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron broke their embrace, dipping his head to whisper a trail of kisses down Robert’s neck. Robert almost shuddered at the touch; ice-cold and blazing hot all rolled together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaron,” Robert whispered, caught up in the moment, and Aaron’s hands – soft and rough – sent a shock of desire through him so strong it left him gasping for air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had never felt like this before with anyone, not even close. God, all those one night stands had never made him feel so vulnerable, so wanted, never robbed the breath from his lungs and made every inch of his skin burn. He was lost in the moment, until a burst of voices filtered through the dizzy haze and Robert pushed Aaron away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert broke out of his daze to find Lise, his assistant, walking towards them. He silently prayed that she hadn't seen anything. Robert raked a hand through his hair. “Sorry, just stepped out for a minute to catch some fresh air. Everything alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron looked just as undone as he felt; his hair was a tousled mess from Robert’s raking fingers, his eyes were dark as he inhaled a shaky breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was obvious what they had been doing, but if Lise suspected anything, she didn’t let on that she did. She was too busy tapping her pen against her clipboard. “It’s time for your speech,” she said, looking down at her notes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. Sorry. Aaron and I were just getting some fresh air,” Robert said nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said that already.” Lise looked at him funny. “You are allowed. You’ve been working the room all night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go then. Don’t want to leave everybody waiting.” He mouthed</span>
  <em>
    <span> later</span>
  </em>
  <span> to Aaron, then he followed Lise back inside, leaving Aaron on his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron followed them back inside a few minutes later, a plan already formed in his mind on how to get Robert alone when the night was over.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>By midnight Robert was loading what was left of the wine - which was very little - in the trunk of his car. It had been a very good night and a successful one. Before the event was over he had signed a contract with an advertising agency and had business meetings scheduled with two potential investors in London. There were even talks about expanding the business.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He never dreamed the reception would go that well, or that he would walk away with so many potential avenues to grow his company.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt damn good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All in all, it was a very successful evening. Even though his attention was occupied most of the night meeting new people and making new business contacts, answering questions about the wine, and about the winery, his thoughts kept drifting back to Aaron and what had happened between them outside on the deserted stretch of land. He couldn't stop thinking about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn't had another chance to sneak a few minutes alone with Aaron. Someone or something always needed his attention. And when he'd finally ushered the last guest out the front door, Robert realized Aaron had left, too. Aaron had stayed in the background most of the night, hanging out near the back of the room with Vic and Adam, Vic's husband, who, over the course of the last three months, had become one of Robert's best mates, and Aaron's.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Adam hadn't been married to his sister, Robert might have been jealous of his closeness with Aaron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert thought about how his relationship with Aaron had evolved the past few weeks from where it had been when they first met. From their first meeting, Robert pushed the boundaries, and Aaron had no qualms about putting him in his place. Aaron was grumpy, stubborn, and could be downright irritating. But, Robert mused, those were a few of the traits that had intrigued him about Aaron from the start, and what had made him curious about the real man underneath. He wanted to peel back his other layers to see what was really hiding below the tough exterior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he wasn't so exhausted, he knew he would be driving to Aaron's right now instead of driving back to his own flat. He thought about going there and banging on Aaron's door, demanding they finish what they had started before Lise had interrupted them. But it was late, way past midnight, and his feet and back ached. All he wanted now was a hot shower, then to crawl into bed and sleep for hours. The past week he had put in sixteen-hour days to ensure the event went perfectly. Now that it was over, he could breathe for a little bit before the hard work began again. He had to be in London in five days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drove home and barely had enough energy to put the key into the lock and shut the door behind him. He made his way upstairs to the bathroom and turned the shower on full-blast. It only took seconds for the small room to fill with steam. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"About time you got here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert leaped back in surprise and gripped the shower door for support before he lost his footing. There, leaning against the door jamb, was Aaron. "You scared the shit out of me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry," Aaron said, though he didn't seem sorry at all. "I wasn't sure what time you would be done so I let myself in. Figured I would wait for you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You left without saying anything, I figured you just went home."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't want to distract you. Tonight was a big success. You must be happy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time, Robert noticed Aaron had changed into jeans and a black sweater. He mourned the loss of the suit that had held his attention all night that had hugged every single part of Aaron. "Yeah, I didn't think that many people would show up. It was a really good night. I have to be in London for meetings next week with potential investors. This could mean more money, more exposure for the winery. I still can't believe it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You deserve it. I couldn't stop watching you all night."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" That pleased, and aroused him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh yeah."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you doing here anyway? I thought we agreed it was a bad idea to be alone together this late. Anyone could spot your car out front."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe I don't care anymore what anyone thinks." Aaron approached him, tugged off Robert's tie, then went to work unbuttoning Robert's shirt. "You better get in the shower before all the hot water is gone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you just going to stand there and watch me have a shower?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert didn't wait, he pulled Aaron's sweater up, over his head. Aaron lifted his arms, helping him, then quickly pulled down his jeans until he was standing there exposed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert drank him in as every inch was uncovered. Aaron shivered under the intensity of Robert's dark eyes, but he felt a thrill too, seeing the blatant desire there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert wanted him. Aaron could see it in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's patience frayed as he unbuckled Robert’s belt. He shoved his pants and briefs down, impatient, kicking them aside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert tugged him backward, into the shower and under the spray for another long kiss. The hot water, the feel of Aaron’s naked body pressing him back against the tile, Aaron’s hands moving over every inch of him was his undoing. The kiss turned hungry, fevered, but he still couldn’t get enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron tasted his lips, his throat, the taut muscles of his arm. His hands slid lower, closing around the hard, thick length of him, and Robert gasped a curse out loud. He pulled Aaron closer as Aaron continued to explore every inch of him, teasing and stroking, until he finally tore away, spinning Aaron around to face the wall, his hands flat on the slick tile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you,” Robert thought he heard Aaron whisper, but his words were lost under the spray. Aaron tried to turn, he needed to touch Robert again, but Robert held him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” he murmured. “I can’t think straight when you’re touching me, and I need to remember this. Every moment. Just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert placed a tender kiss on Aaron’s bare shoulder, and Aaron sank back against him as Robert reached for the bottle of shower gel and squeezed some into his palm. He slid his hands around from behind and slowly spread the gel across Aaron’s body. Aaron shuddered as Robert teased and stroked, moving in hypnotic circles until he was aching for Robert’s touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert murmured something in his ear, but it was incoherent, and he was distracted by the hot water cascading over him, and Robert’s hands – </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh, his hands</span>
  </em>
  <span> – swirling over his skin, stroking down his body. The desire was building, the agony of his teasing touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaron…” His voice was ragged before he dipped his head to kiss Aaron’s neck. He sounded tormented, and Aaron knew exactly what it was like to be so close to the edge, unraveling by every touch. Robert could feel Aaron, hard against him, making him groan. Robert bit down on Aaron’s shoulder as his hands trailed lower, over his stomach, and lower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron couldn’t hold back anymore. He twisted his head, finding Robert’s mouth kissing him desperately as his fingers slid over him. “Robert,” he gasped, begging.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With no warning, Robert spun him around so Aaron was facing him, back against the wall. Aaron opened his eyes to find Robert watching him, his eyes on Aaron’s face, and God, it was so sexy he forgot how to breathe. “Please,” Aaron gasped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A teasing smile on his lips, Robert kissed him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robert,” Aaron warned him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert leaned in, his lips barely grazing Aaron’s. “What’s the magic word?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron clenched his jaw. “Now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert laughed, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron softened. “More?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert touched him again. Aaron moaned, his head falling back, but it wasn’t enough, nowhere near enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Aaron begged. “Please.” Aaron cried out, the sound lost as Robert’s lips descended to his again, his tongue invading. The fire roared through his entire body, exploding in a rush that shattered through him and left him gasping in Robert’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was burned into his memory, the way Aaron looked at him as he came undone. He wanted to capture it, frame it so he could remember it.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Robert watched Aaron wrap a towel around his waist as they stepped out of the shower. He slowly started to surface back to reality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And when Aaron turned around to look at him, he lost his breath. “Well,” he managed. “That was a good way to cap off an amazing night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Worth waiting for then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert just grinned and led Aaron down the hallway back to his bedroom, shutting the door behind them. It took only a few seconds before he was peeling Aaron’s towel off, revealing an expanse of smooth, damp skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron reached for him, running his hands over Robert’s chest. He leaned closer, a teasing smile on his face, and they both fell back against the pillows. The world disappeared, contracting to just that room, that moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron took control this time, kissing his way down Robert’s neck, savoring every taste. He took his time until Robert was squirming underneath him, gasping in little pants that made Aaron ache even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert made a noise, part moan, part pure frustration. The pure need in Robert’s voice was enough to send Aaron reeling. He couldn’t hold back anymore. Aaron reared up and buried himself deep with one wild thrust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron moved again, and this time, Robert moved with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert’s mouth found Aaron’s, a deep kiss as his arms came around Aaron, his hands sliding down his body. Aaron surged into him, over and over, until the tension was too much for either of them to take. With one final moan, they both came undone again. It rippled through them both, sending them both flying as they brought each other to that breaking point. Aaron tangled his fingers in Robert’s hair, neither of them wanting the moment to end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, as he pulled up his jeans over his hips and pulled his sweater back over his head, Aaron gave Robert a mischievous smirk. “Definitely worth waiting for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert leaned up for a kiss, nipped Aaron’s lower lip between his teeth. “Definitely,” he agreed. “I’m just getting started.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promises, promises," Aaron teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe this started because you pulled me away at the reception and tried to have your way with me against the wall.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was your fault for being so irresistible. Charming the entire village just to get them to buy your wine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So it’s the wine fault then, is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had three glasses by the time I decided I had enough of sharing you with everyone else in the room.” He could still feel the buzz fogging his brain. “I can’t believe I did that. I’m not impulsive."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I find that hard to believe, especially after tonight."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's different with you. I've never been like this with anyone else."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You telling me you never pushed Jonathan up against a wall and tried to ravish him?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No." And Aaron didn't want to ruin the moment by bringing up his ex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s going to find out eventually, you know,” Robert said. “The rate we’re going everybody’s going to find out because apparently we can’t keep our hands off each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron grinned. “And that’s not likely to change anytime soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert was already grabbing him by the waist, pulling him back towards the bed. "Stay. I want you to stay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Before....you sounded like you didn't care anymore if people found out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't. I'm tired of hiding this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So am I."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So Aaron stayed.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was all over the village by the time Aaron left Robert's flat later the next morning. He would have stayed - after last night, Aaron never wanted to leave again - but he had jobs lined up at the garage that would take most of the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lost count of how many times he had woken up during the night to find Robert's arm draped over him. One night, Aaron concluded, as he stepped outside into the crisp morning air, was not going to be enough. Not by a long shot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew the news was going to be met with mixed reactions. It was going to be awkward and uncomfortable - depending on who spotted him first - but last night, Aaron thought, was worth every uncomfortable conversation he knew he would be subjected to as their relationship became public knowledge. It was nobody's business but their own, but he knew that in this village, and in his family, that didn't matter. Everyone would know and everyone would form their own opinion no matter what he said. He knew, and expected, that most people were not going to accept it, at least not right away. He wasn't naive - he had known exactly what would happen when he let himself into Robert's flat last night. He just didn't care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't looking forward to dealing with the aftermath, but he wasn't going to apologize for going after what he wanted either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He would just concentrate on last night, Aaron told himself, and not pay attention to all of the penetrating stares or the hushed whispers behind his back. But at least he wouldn't have to deal with Jonathan yet - he was away at a medical conference and wouldn't be back for a few days. He had time to prepare for that confrontation, and he knew it wasn't going to pretty, but it was unavoidable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he got into his car, he noticed without much interest that he had two messages waiting for him. He would deal with whoever it was later, he decided. Right now he wanted to get home and crash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert hadn't exactly let him get much sleep last night, and Aaron hadn't minded one bit, but now in the cold light of day, he was finding it hard to keep his eyes open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You could start returning your messages," Chas said as soon as he pulled up into the driveway of his flat and opened the driver's side door. Why was he not surprised she was here? "I've talked to your bloody machine three times. Had to come and make sure you weren't dead."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron got out of the car, slammed the door, and pocketed his keys. "As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. You didn't need to worry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chas cleared her throat, following him to the front door. "Your car was spotted at Robert's flat this morning. Gossip is running rampant all over the village. Do you know what people are saying?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron had a pretty good idea. And if he wasn't so tired, he would have been amused that it was barely seven a.m. and the news was already spreading like wildfire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At his muttered oath of a response, Chas raised an eyebrow. "I take it he didn't leave the party with that blond." When he didn't answer her, she sighed. "Aaron," she warned him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Aaron admitted finally "He didn't leave with her." Any hope he had of his mother easing off was squashed. "Mum, don't. I don't want to talk about it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You spent the night with him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes." </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please, someone shoot me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Aaron turned the key and let himself inside. He knew his mum was still behind him, and would probably follow him inside. This conversation clearly wasn't finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What were you thinking?" Chas demanded after she had shut the door behind her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron knew what she thought of Robert - she had much the same opinion as Paddy did. But Aaron didn't care, and he wasn't in the mood to try and explain that his love life was none of her business.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not talking about this with you," he said, making it clear the subject was closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But Jonathan---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Has nothing to do with this," Aaron said sharply. "Please, just leave it. It's none of your business."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was right, wasn't he?" Chas kept going, despite Aaron's objections and cold stares. "About you and Robert."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. I didn't cheat on Jonathan with Robert or anybody else. Now, please leave. I need to get some sleep, then I have to get to work."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This conversation isn't over."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I figured as much," Aaron muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hope you know what you're doing."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do," Aaron assured her. He knew exactly what he was doing and who he was doing it with. And he planned to keep on doing it.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The last person Aaron expected to show up on his doorstep as he was getting ready to leave for work was Jonathan. Apparently, his medical conference ended a few days early and he'd already heard the gossip going around town and just couldn't wait to confront him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just great, Aaron thought. He'd already lost track of time and was running behind. Dealing with his mum this morning had thrown everything off and he was already late. The last thing he wanted to do right now was deal with his ex-fiance, and the storm that was already brewing in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan tried to keep calm, but betrayal was crashing through him, the sick, empty feeling like he'd leaped off a cliff - and was plunging straight towards solid ground. "You said nothing was going on. You told me </span>
  <em>
    <span>repeatedly </span>
  </em>
  <span>that you had no feelings for him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It wasn't like that," Aaron said. "Nothing happened, not until after we broke up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nothing happened," Jonathan echoed in disbelief. "You actually expect me to buy that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's the truth, and I don't really have time right now to stand here arguing with you about it. What does it matter anyway? You're not going to believe anything I say."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're a liar and a cheater," Jonathan accused him angrily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words echoed, a punch straight in the gut. "You don't know anything about me, and you don't know anything about this situation. I never lied to you, but believe what you want."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right," Jonathan said, shaking his head. "The whole damn village knows you spent the night at his. Do you have any idea how it feels to come home to this? To people gossiping about you behind your back because your ex-fiance, who only broke up with you a week ago, is already sleeping with somebody else?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't want you to find out that way," Aaron said carefully. "But I can't stop people from gossiping. I was going to tell you, but I didn't think you would be home for a few days. I really am sorry you found out like this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why was I not good enough? Why did you have to run to him of all people the minute we broke up? Do you have any idea how this makes me feel, how it makes me look?" Pathetic, desperate, needy. A laughing stock. He was humiliated and he wasn't letting Aaron get away with it </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron raked a hand through his hair. "Don't," he snapped, his patience frayed. "This has nothing to do with you or our relationship. I just wasn't in love with you, not the way I should have been. It's different with Robert." He regretted the words instantly when he saw Jonathan's face. "I'm sorry, but it's the truth. And maybe you were right, maybe deep down all along it was always him, I just couldn't see it, not until now. And I'm sorry, I know that hurts you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You deserve each other," Jonathan spat out, before he turned and walked back to his car.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Jonathan started up the freshly painted wooded steps, determined to have it out with Robert. The old brick cottage was tucked away from the street, shielded by trees and box hedges filled with colorful flowers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gathered his courage and crossed the porch to the front door. He would make this quick, he promised himself. It wouldn't be painless, for either of them, but it would be quick. He rapped on the glass door, released a breath, and waited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside, Robert went to the fridge and was bitterly surprised to find it empty but for three beers, a half-empty bottle of white wine, and three eggs. Resigned, he rummaged through the cupboards and came up with a bag of coffee and a loaf of bread.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went to work brewing coffee, ignoring the bread. Just as he was pouring coffee into a chipped white mug, there was an insistent knock on the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert opened the door, not surprised when he was met by a pair of green eyes - cool, depthless, direct, and angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hi," Robert said casually. "I figured you would show up sooner or later." Aaron had already warned him about his brief and uncomfortable encounter with Jonathan earlier that morning, so Robert had been expecting Jonathan to show up at some point to have words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan expected Robert to slam the door in his face, or at least deny what he'd heard earlier that morning, but he did neither. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on in then," Robert said when Jonathan only stared at him. "We don't need the whole village to hear." There was enough gossip going around already, Robert thought, and led the way down the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan took off his jacket and loosened his tie, rolled up his sleeves. "I won't take up too much of your time. I'm just on my way to the hospital for a fourteen-hour shift, but I passed your place on my way and figured what the hell. There's been a lot of gossip going on about you and Aaron today."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've heard," Robert said absently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His pride was equally as strong as his temper. He would say what he came to say then leave, hopefully with some of his dignity still intact. "I don't see you denying it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What would be the point? I know you've already spoken to Aaron."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course," Jonathan said. "He told you all about it, I'm sure."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert nodded absently. He had heard the whole story, and wasn't very happy about the way Jonathan had talked to Aaron. He was livid for his boyfriend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He swears this - whatever is going on between you - is new. Aaron's not a good liar."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, he's not," Robert agreed. "And we've both told you before, nothing happened between us when you were together, so I'm not exactly sure why you're here or what you expect me to say. If you're waiting for me to apologize or say I won't see him again, you're out of luck."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't like it," Jonathan said shortly. "The way people look at me, they're embarrassed for me. I know they're wondering what you have that I don't. I could have offered him everything, given him anything he wanted, but he chose you over me. It's humiliating."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He didn't choose me over you," Robert said calmly. "I wasn't the reason your relationship ended. Aaron has told you that more than once, I don't understand why you're not understanding that. You're a smart guy. If I had wanted Aaron when you were still with him, I could have had him, but it would have taken a lot of convincing. He never would have cheated on you with anybody, no matter who it was. He's loyal like that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You really believe that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know him. And I know how much it hurt him to break your heart."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not even two weeks after we broke up, there you were spinning your lies, luring him into your bed!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, I didn't have to lure him. He came willingly."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jonathan swung his hand out. but Robert avoided the blow easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't resort to violence," Robert said. "You've done that once before and I didn't press charges against you. Do it again and you won't be so lucky."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You bastard," Jonathan hissed, breathing hard. He rarely lost his temper, but there was something about Robert that brought out the angry side of him, a side he wasn't particularly fond of. He knew there was nothing he could say or do to change Aaron's mind, it was obvious he had made it up and that nothing was going to change it. "I warned him time and time again about you but he never listened." His pride was shattered. Aaron had chosen </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> over him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The expression on Robert's face made Jonathan's blood go cold. "If that's all you have to say, you can leave now. I have things to do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Robert watched Jonathan's Jag disappear from view, he slammed the door and cursed under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That escalated quickly, Robert thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What the hell did they do now?</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It only took a few days for things to settle down. They were no longer the topic of gossip around the village thanks to Victoria's recent announcement that she and Adam were expecting a baby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were both relieved. And Robert was excited about being an uncle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No longer afraid to hide their relationship, Aaron and Robert were comfortable walking around the village together. People still stared at them, but it no longer made them feel uncomfortable. Aaron went to work during the day, but when the day was done he went back to Robert's and didn't leave until morning. They both were desperate to spend as much time together as they could before Robert had to leave for London.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now Robert had to concentrate on his business. With only twenty-four hours before he had to be on a plane to London for the first of a series of five meetings, and it demanded his full focus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron had been understanding, keeping his distance during the day, putting extra hours in at the garage, and spending more time with his family. Aaron knew Robert's career required a lot of long hours and it never affected their relationship. Surprisingly, even Chas and Paddy were coming around. They even invited Robert over for dinner at the pub later before his flight left the next morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Jonathan had kept his distance since his outburst and second attempt at trying to take out his frustrations on Robert with his fists.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron came and went as he pleased now, and Robert couldn't believe how quickly they went from being friends to casual lovers to Aaron basically living with him. It was strange, Robert thought, that the very idea of moving this fast didn't scare him. It always had before when relationships got too serious too quickly. But with Aaron, it felt right. And as soon as he got back from London, Robert planned to officially ask Aaron to move in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert sipped coffee and studied the latest data on his laptop as he prepared for his business meetings in London. His cell phone, as always, was close by. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron smiled at him, quick and easy with a flash of humor, and bent down to give Robert a quick kiss, not wanting to interrupt him. "I should be done work by seven. I'll just meet you at the pub?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I should be done by six. Gives me time to jump into the shower."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now there's an image I won't be able to stop thinking about while I'm working."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert grinned. "You could always leave work early and come join me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron lifted an eyebrow. "Kind of defeats the purpose. Besides, if we do that you'll just have to get up even earlier in the morning and have another one before your flight."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert ended up having to wake up early the next morning anyway. Despite Aaron's earlier objection to the idea, he left work early and surprised Robert in the shower. It was becoming impossible for the two of them to keep their hands off each other.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Aaron glanced up to see Robert in the doorway. In full business mode, Aaron thought, with the tailored suit - charcoal with subtle pinstripes and elegant tie, and a leathered briefcase. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Coffee's fresh," Aaron said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks." Robert put his briefcase down on the kitchen table and helped himself. "You didn't have to wake up early, you know. Or make me coffee."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You could just say thank you and leave it at that," Aaron said dryly. "Besides, I wanted to kiss you goodbye and shove you out the door."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert grinned. "Anybody ever tell you how sweet you are?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That makes me special I suppose."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're a smug bastard, Sugden."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can be," Robert agreed and stole a muffin from the plate on the counter. His heart swelled. Aaron had got up early to pick up freshly baked muffins from the cafe. "And you're moody, but I won't hold it against you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron smiled. "I'm going to miss you." Had he just admitted that out loud? Aaron thought, panicked. "I mean I suppose I'll miss you a little."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert met his eyes. "I know what you meant, and I'm going to miss you too. I don't like being apart from you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The admission caught Aaron off guard. He thought he was the only one that felt that way. "Me either. But just means we have a lot of time to make up for when you get back, yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Robert agreed. He looked down at his watch and sighed. "I better get going or I'll miss my flight."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron hopped off the stool and grabbed his coat. "Yeah, and I should get back to my place."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can stay here," Robert said, grabbing his briefcase and keys from the mahogany table near the front door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I haven't been home for two days," Aaron said. "I'm not going to stay here while you're gone."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why not?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron gave Robert a quizzical look. "Because this is your place, not mine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right." They would talk about it later, Robert thought, when he didn't have a plane to catch and Aaron didn't have to get to work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they stepped outside and Robert turned to lock the door, Aaron grabbed him by the knot of his elegant tie, jerked him down as he gripped a handful of Robert's hair, not bothering to be gentle, and yanked him forward. And fixed his mouth on Robert's in a hot, sizzling kiss, one that gave both their hearts a jolt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's hands landed on Aaron's hips, his fingers digging in. He threw himself into the moment, to savor, to absorb. Heat and hunger, love, and passion. Robert could only stare at Aaron as they pulled apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Have a safe flight," Aaron said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More than a little aroused, Robert watched Aaron walk to his car. He was going to need a really long, cold shower once he landed and got to the hotel. "Hey, wait up." Robert caught up to him and pushed him against the car. "You can't just kiss me like that and walk away."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought you were running late."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can make the time up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The last thing I want you to do is speed and get a ticket, or worse, get hurt."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When had anyone cared about him like Aaron did? Robert wondered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Never.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He was a lucky bastard. He couldn't wait to get back home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's hands slid down, found Aaron's waist, and poured everything into the next kiss, making his mind drowsy with need. He wouldn't be able to kiss Aaron for five days, he wanted to make it last. He wanted Aaron to remember what it felt like and to give Aaron something to think about when he was alone in bed tonight. He drew Aaron just a little closer, then drew back as his cell phone went off, reminding him that he should already be on his way to the airport.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go," Aaron said, jangling his keys and unlocking his car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed to go or he'd never make his flight, and there was too much riding on these meetings, he couldn't let anything distract him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Aaron was so damn good at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert threw his suitcase in the trunk of the car and got into the driver's seat. He rolled down his window and leaned his head out. "When I get back, there's something I want to ask you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he drove away, leaving Aaron to mull over Robert's last words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the hell? What was that all about?" Aaron said to himself as he turned on the ignition and headed towards his place. Robert, he decided, loved to throw him off balance.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Robert ended up staying in London for two weeks. They talked every night on the phone after Aaron came home to an empty house after a busy day at the garage and Robert back at his hotel room after a grueling day of meetings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Robert finally got back to the village, he didn't even drop his bags off at home, he went straight to Aaron's. It was almost midnight, but he had to see Aaron. Had to tell him the news. If he was honest with himself, he was nervous about Aaron's reaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's house was quiet when Robert let himself inside with the key Aaron had given him. The lights were out, but he found Aaron sprawled out on the two-cushion sofa in the living room, his legs hanging off one end. Even in sweats and bare feet he made Robert's heart catch in his throat. Aaron hadn't shaved but the shadow of stubble only made him more attractive, especially when combined with the tousled hair. He had never wanted anyone so desperately as he did this man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron," he said quietly as he approached his sleeping boyfriend, a throw pillow furrowed under his head. A mountain of paperwork for the garage was spread out on the coffee table and a cold cup of coffee had left rings on the glass. Robert moved the cup out of the way and sat on the edge of the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached up and unfolded the throw of soft blue wool that was draped along the back of the couch to spread it over Aaron. He bent to brush lips over Aaron's brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron rubbed his eyes, stretched. "Robert? I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Caught an earlier flight. I missed you." Robert leaned over for a quick kiss. He covered a yawn with his hand. "Sorry, long flight. I would have gone straight home to bed but I needed to see you." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stay here tonight," Aaron said. "You've been gone for two weeks. Don't think I'm letting you leave tonight."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert smiled. "Upstairs then?"</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>"What?" Aaron said the next morning as they sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee. There was no way he had heard Robert right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert had been putting this off too long already, he couldn't anymore. He'd stalled, changed the subject the last few nights when they were on the phone just to avoid dropping this bombshell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm moving to London. A company up there has offered me the chance of a lifetime. I can't say no."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're moving to London," Aaron repeated. "To be honest that's the last thing I expected you to tell me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, I know it's sudden and it's not what either of us expected to happen. Hell, when they handed me the contract I had to read it again just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I'm not just talking about a good opportunity here, I'm talking lots of money."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Money." There was anger laced together with surprise in Aaron's tone. "I don't know what to say."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're upset."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't always find the right words," Aaron snapped. He checked his temper as he studied Robert. "You're moving there, aren't you? There's nothing I can say to change your mind." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert checked his own temper as he studied Aaron. Aaron's eyes were dark with something more than anger. He was standing stiffly, head up, but he couldn't tell if Aaron's stand was one of pride of self-defense. "Are you saying you don't want me to go?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course I don't want you to go!" Frustrated, he whirled back into the hallway to grab his coat. He needed to get out of here. "This is why I didn't want to get involved with you. I knew something like would happen."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert followed him. "Something like this?" What the hell did that mean?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You always leave, you always find an excuse when things get too hard. Was that it, huh? Were we getting too serious and now you want to back out?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the hell are you saying?" Robert grabbed Aaron by the shoulders, and Aaron's jacket fell to the ground. "This has nothing to do with being scared or wanting to break things off. I love you, Aaron. That's not why I'm doing this. Do you think I wanted this, any of this? I didn't want to want you, I didn't want to love you. You were engaged! Do you think that was easy for me to see you with him every day, pretending it didn't bother me? I didn't have a choice because I wanted you in my life. I tried to be a good friend to you hoping that one day you would open your eyes and see how I felt about you. But you never did, not for months, but now I can't imagine waking up every day without you beside me, and the thought that by me doing this could mean the end of us? I hate it. Do you know what it's been like since they told me they wanted me and all the things they could offer me? I should have been overjoyed, drinking champagne, looking for a place to live in London. But do you know what I was doing instead? Worrying about you, how this would affect our relationship, scared that there was a chance I could lose you because I knew you wouldn't be able to come with me if I decided to take it. I've never cared about anyone like this. Before it would have been easy just to put my needs and wants first without a second thought about the person I was with because I knew it wasn't going to last anyway. But with you? I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life, and I'm not sure this great opportunity is worth it if it makes you walk away."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then choose me," Aaron challenged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know I can't do that. My career is important to me. You said yourself after the reception how proud you were of me, how important you knew my career was to me. I figured that meant you cared about my career too because you cared about me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do care about you, but what's the point if you plan on packing up and moving away?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't pass this up, Aaron. Please don't ask me to."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where does that leave us? Am I on the bottom of your list of priorities?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know you're not."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then just go ahead and be selfish, that's what you're good at."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe you just said that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron regretted the words as soon as they slipped out of his mouth. "Robert, I'm---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't, don't touch me. If you can't support me, if you can't be willing to sit down and at least talk about this calmly, it's better if I go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert, please. I don't want you to go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's the point? I know what you're going to say and we both know how this is going to end." Robert grabbed his coat from the back of the sofa then opened the door, not giving Aaron the chance to stop him. His eyes were all ice. "I can't do this right now. I have stuff to figure out, a lot of important decisions to make, which I really hoped we could make together. I don't have time to sit here begging you to come with me. I hate that this is how I have to leave, but I know nothing I can say is going to change your mind."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert, I love you. We can figure this out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Would you move to London?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know I can't do that. My life is here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then I don't know what else there is to say."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hope you have a good life in London," Aaron said, then slammed the door in Robert's face.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The last time Aaron had seen Robert it had ended in an argument, and more than anything Aaron wished he could take the words back. But he hadn't known what to do, and there hadn't been anything left to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert was leaving for London to work with a large multinational company to expand his wine business, and instead of supporting him, of telling Robert how proud he was of him, Aaron had called him selfish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam was trying to make him feel better, trying to reassure him that no one was perfect, that he shouldn't be so hard on himself for getting so upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Everybody makes mistakes," Adam said over a pint at the pub. It had been three days since Robert had walked out on Aaron after their argument and they hadn't spoken since. Aaron had been keeping his distance from everyone, but Adam managed to convince him to come out for a quick drink after work. Aaron had been too tired to argue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron nodded as if he believed Adam, but Adam didn't understand what he was going through. Adam still had his wife sleeping beside him every night; he wasn't left wondering how to fix what was broken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron thought about his family, his friends, his career. But at the moment, none of that gave him any comfort. There had been a time when the three of those things were important to him, but things changed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was before falling in love with someone who had seemed so out of reach. Before Robert swooped into his orbit and changed everything he thought he knew, everything he thought he wanted in life. Robert, who was just supposed to be a friend, someone he could hang out with, joke with, someone he could just be himself with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert was never supposed to be part of the plan. He wasn't supposed to become the most important person in his life. His e</span>
  <em>
    <span>verything</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that's what he was now, Aaron thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His career, his family, his friends; they were all important to him, but without Robert, he would just be living a dull and weak existence, a life unfulfilled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't live that way. He didn't want to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He'd made a huge mistake. Aaron had realized that as soon as Robert had slammed the door behind him. He hadn't heard from Robert in the three days since, which wasn't a long period of time, but to Aaron, it had felt like a lifetime. His heart hurt, he couldn't sleep, and he was miserable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking his head, Aaron downed his beer, wiped his hand over his mouth. "I've been stupid," he admitted. "I never should have let him walk out. I never should have told him he was being selfish."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's asking you to change your entire life for him," Adam said. "This isn't something that either of you can decide lightly. Don't beat yourself up about it. He knew as soon as he found out about London that he would be forced to choose his career or you. He knew you were never going to be able to come with him without giving up your life here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed advice from someone that was impartial, someone that would be brutally honest with him. "Do you think it would be a mistake if I went with him?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not if that's what you really want to do," Adam said. "And if you love him, I mean really love him, you have to be willing to compromise."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want to lose him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then I think you know what you have to do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're not going to be like everybody else and convince me to just leave it alone and let him go?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam shook his head. "No, because I know you love him and he loves you too. Vic says he's never been like this with anyone, he's never let anyone get this close. And I've never seen you like this with anyone either. You were never like this with Jonathan or anyone else. You're both miserable, the pair of you. I never thought I'd say this, but you belong together. I know it's killing you being away from him. If you're asking for my advice, I'm telling you to go to London because I think you'll regret it if you don't. And no offense, but you're not exactly a joy to be around when you're miserable. Staying here while Robert goes to London is a mistake. You're not going to find what you have with Robert with anybody else, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're on team Robert all of a sudden. You used to think he was a mug."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam shrugged. "He's Vic's brother, I have to like him. I've also seen a different side of him since he's been with you. You make each other better."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Aaron thought. They did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam ran his tongue over his teeth to keep from grinning. "I guess I'll be planning a going-away party."</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Aaron knew where he had to go, what he had to do, and was prepared to have curse words shouted at him and the door slammed in his face. He hadn't exactly been supportive or willing to compromise, and he wouldn't blame Robert if he never wanted to see him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he was surprised when Robert opened the door and crushed their bodies together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," Robert whispered against his neck. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad. I didn't want to walk out on your like that, but this whole situation is just so complicated. I know I have to go, that it's the best move for my career, but just walking away from this, us, is hard." In the past, he would have evaded uncomfortable situations like this by walking away and letting the other person go. But this was different. Walking away wasn't an option.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron was different, being with Aaron was different. He didn't want this to end. There was no simple route for the two of them to take. It hurt just thinking about moving to London and living a life without Aaron in it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron stood trapped, embarrassed for how he acted, and uncertain of the future. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's not talk about it right now," Aaron said, pushing Robert up against the wall. There was no patience in this kiss, no persuasion. It took and took until he was sure he had nothing left to give. He ran his hands over Robert's face, memorizing every shape, every line. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron." Robert didn't even recognize his own voice, it sounded so small. "I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll figure it out." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's hand moved up Aaron's back, strong, possessive, in contrast with the light play of his lips. "I think about you all the time, about being with you, touching you. I've never wanted anyone the way I want you." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron tried to think, but Robert's mouth was roaming hungrily over his face, taunting him to tremble with need. And he did need, to be held like this, wanted like this. It had been so easy in the past to pretend that he hadn't wanted to be loved like this. Until now, until Robert, pretending had been easy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, suddenly, like a door opening, like a light being switched on, everything had changed. He yearned for Robert, and his blood swam faster, just knowing Robert wanted him too. Even for a moment, he told himself as his hands clutched at Robert's hair to pull their mouths together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was more than passion here. The emotions that swirled inside Aaron nearly swallowed him whole. The desperation and fear left him dazed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he wasn't scared about leaving his life here behind. No, he was scared shitless of losing Robert, of watching him walk out that door and out of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to pull back, to think, to reason. But he knew it was no use. He knew exactly what he had to do. At that moment, he knew without a doubt he would have gone anywhere, traveled halfway across the world, leaving everything he had ever known behind, if it meant that he had Robert with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because living without Robert wasn't something he could do. Not anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll go to London with you," Aaron blurted out. And before the night was over, he would prove it to both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert raised his head. "You will?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was the one being selfish, not you. I didn't want to choose. I didn't want anything to change. You were gone two weeks and all of a sudden our whole lives were changing. I thought I could let you go if London was where you needed to be. I was being stubborn by not budging, not willing to talk it out. I was just scared. I knew that if you really wanted to go I wasn't going to stop you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What changed?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"After you told me to go and didn't talk to me or return any of my calls, I was miserable. I didn't care about anything, I just wanted you. You're all I can think about and it scared me how important you've become in my life. Then I went out for a pint with Adam after work tonight and he made me realize that there was never a choice, that I can't let being scared keep me from going with you. I love you and I don't want to lose you. And if you're going to London, I'm going with you because you're where I belong."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've given us a great deal of thought too," Robert said. He waited for a beat. "And I've come to the same conclusion. I don't want to live without you either. Wherever my future is, I want it with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not letting you give up your career for me," Aaron said. "I've already spoken to Cain, he's taking over my business here. My mum's not happy that I'm leaving obviously, but I made it clear to her that I've made up my mind."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You sold your business? Aaron, you didn't have to do that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Already done. And I'm fine with it, actually, if I'm honest I'm excited about it. I'm excited to start my life with you, but if you've changed your mind---"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Move to London with me," Robert said. "Build a life with me. Marry me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron ignored the voice inside his head that warned him that this was too fast, that he still had time to end this. He debated for two seconds before he crushed Robert against him again. "Yes." Without hesitation, he pulled Robert tighter against him and their lips met again. He heard Robert's quiet moan of pleasure merge with his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert blinked. It took a moment for his brain to register Aaron's answer. "Yes?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Deliberately, Aaron took a long, deep breath. "Yes, I'll marry you." He was laughing as Robert grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't dawn on him until later that night while Robert slept beside him that he was engaged to the man he'd once thought didn't believe in love or happy endings, and they were moving to London.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time in years, he was happy. Really happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some would say he was making a rash decision, that he was rushing into another engagement without thinking it through, that they weren't ready to make this kind of commitment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they would be wrong.</span>
</p>
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